Assistance Required

Somewhere to Turn

TW anxiety

Fri March 26

"So, how was your break?" May asked.

Virgil looked up from the pillow in his lap. He was still trying to get comfortable in his chair.

"Um... it was pretty good for the most part. My friend threw me in the lake though."

"It's a little cold for swimming, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but that didn't stop him... until he realized I couldn't swim. Luckily the others were able to pull me out of the water, but it was kind of scary."

"Oh... that's... he didn't know?"

Virgil shook his head.

"No, but we all worked it out. My friends helped me figure it all out."

"Well, that's good. It's good to have such a strong support system."

"Yeah, they also helped me get my birth certificate back from my dad," Virgil's voice trailed off. He wasn't entirely sure if he was ready to discuss his dad again yet.

May looked at him seriously.

"Did he hurt you, Virgil?"

He shook his head.

"No, no one got hurt. My friends were there and Joan was ready to call the cops if anything got out of hand. It was... it was kind of scary seeing him again. I... I didn't really want to but... I... I needed my... my papers and-"

"Virgil, take a breath, okay?" May says gently.

Virgil took a deep breath. He looked down at his hands and realized he was shaking. He hugged the pillow.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"You're okay, Virgil. If talking about your dad is bothering you this much, you don't have to keep pushing yourself."

Virgil took another deep breath and nodded.

"Well... my friends helped me realize I'm safe here. They didn't let anything bad happen and we're okay. I'm safe here with them."

"That's good, Virgil! I'm glad you realized that!"

He nodded again smiling a little.

"And... they convinced me to... block his number."

"You blocked his number?"

Virgil nodded again.

"Yeah, he... he kept messaging me after we saw him. I didn't want to read them and my friends thought it'd be better if I didn't let him have contact with me anymore."

"That's good. You shouldn't keep toxic people in your life, even if they're your family. You'll only hurt yourself in the end. I'm really proud of you for making this step, Virgil. That's a hard choice to make."

Virgil's cheeks burned at the praise. He wasn't sure how to feel about it.

"Um... thank you?" Virgil muttered.

May gave him a gentle smile.

"It's true, Virgil. You're making a lot of progress. Have you been having any more of those panic attacks?"

Virgil paused as he thought back on it.

"Um... not as much, no."

"See, that's good! I'm really proud of your progress so far. And I'm glad you had fun over break, even if there were a few hiccups."

"Yeah... one night we even danced," Virgil chuckled. "It was stupid but it was also a lot of fun. Roman asked me to dance with him and dragged me into the group. Even Logan joined in... sort of. He mostly just stood there and went along with whatever Patton decided to do."

"That does sound like a lot of fun," May grinned.

"Did you manage to get any art in?"

"Um... not really. I wanted to, but I spent more time on my phone and with the others. I didn't entirely waste my time though, I did manage to get a little ahead in Spanish."

"Spending time for yourself and with your friends isn't a waste of time, Virgil. You need to take the time for yourself as well as your work. That's what break is for. You get to take the time to relax a little and regroup. You definitely seem a lot less tense."

"I... I do?"

May nodded.

"Yeah, you've been a little more relaxed these past two sessions. It's really nice to see."

"Um... I guess that's good," Virgil frowned.

"Is something wrong?" May asked.

"I... I don't know," Virgil paused. "I... I don't really want to... stop coming here-"

"No, Virgil. Just because you make a lot of progress doesn't mean you have to stop coming. You can leave whenever you feel ready, but you're welcome to stay as long as you want. That's what we're here for."

Virgil looked up from the pillow to look at May staring gently back at him.

"I... what happens when I'm no longer on campus..?" He asked quietly. "I'd have to find someone else."

"Well," May started hesitantly, "yes, but that's a long time from now. You're a freshman, right?"

Virgil nodded.

"Then you still have a few more years here. And when the time comes, I hope you'll be in a place where you won't really need me as much anyway. Even then, we can work on finding someone else for you to talk to. Besides, you'll still have your friends. They brought you here and I'm sure they'll help you find a new therapist."

Virgil smiled slightly to himself as he went over her words. He felt kind of silly when he thought about it. Of course, he'd have something to fall back on. There was no way his friends would let him go without some sort of support system. And at the rate he was going, maybe a few years from now he wouldn't need therapy as much.

After the session, he walked back to the student center and sat down with his friends. He pulled up his Spanish stuff on his laptop. He had managed to get his reading done earlier. He hoped to get all of his Spanish done so he could work on his painting assignment. They had started it before break, but it was due in a few weeks and they couldn't work on it in class anymore. He felt as if a weekend working on nothing but his painting project sounded like a good way to relax. He knew he didn't really need to relax, but that didn't mean he couldn't. Besides, he was still doing his homework. Just because he enjoyed painting, didn't mean it wasn't important work.

He was actually excited about this opportunity. How often did he get to just paint the weekend away and mark something important off his to-do list? He couldn't wait until he finished his core classes so he could spend all of his time doing nothing but this. He smiled slightly to himself as he thought it over. He'd still have another year working on his gen-eds before he got to focus solely on his major, but he could still do some art along the way. It was a nice pace.

He was actually proud of himself for keeping up with his homework this week and managing to make the time for him to paint. He deserved this time after all his hard work. He didn't often reward himself for hard work. He glanced around at his friends focusing on their own assignments. He smiled as he turned back to his Spanish. He was glad he was here. He didn't appreciate his friends often enough, but they were so good for him. He was glad he met them.