Assistance Required

Breaking Down

TW anxiety, crying, depression, mental breakdown

Mon Feb 22

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Murder. That's all Virgil cared about right now. Murder. It seemed like a justifiable answer for having to be awake. The only problem was he didn't have anyone he could kill. Sure, he could find Hannah, she certainly deserved his wrath, but that would require a little more planning and work. By the time he made it there, it may not even be worth it. However, the people closest to him right now he actually enjoyed being with and would rather they live another day. That only left himself and he didn't feel like doing that in particular. He'd rather someone else right now. He guessed his only option was to actually act like a normal human being and go out into the world to do things, like school.

Virgil sighed before rolling out of bed and getting himself ready. He went to the bathroom to finish getting ready. He found a few of the others talking while they washed their hands or brushed their teeth. Virgil found a sink and started working on his makeup.

"Morning!" Roman said.

Virgil grunted in response.

"He got out of bed on his own this morning but I'm not sure if he's entirely awake yet," Logan said.

"Being awake isn't real. I refuse to accept it," Virgil muttered.

"It's a real phenomenon. A lot of people have it," Janus said. "In fact, almost half the globe experiences this at any given time."

"No, it isn't real. The world is a hallucination. I'm just a sentient piece of dust floating in space imagining everything. There is no awake. There is no existence. There is no reality. There is only sleep."

"Virgil, what time did you go to bed last night?" Patton asked as he walked into the bathroom.

Virgil shrugged.

"I wasn't really paying attention."

"If you had to guess?"

Virgil frowned as he thought it over. When did he go to bed last night? He spent most of yesterday doing his homework, but he wanted to continue his art piece. He spent a lot of time coloring and shading the piece. It looked amazing and he was actually proud of his work, but he didn't feel like stopping until late into the night when he managed to finish the project.

"Um... maybe sometime between two and three?"

"Virgil!"

"Was it just your anxiety or-"

"No," Virgil shook his head. "I was doing art things. I just didn't feel like stopping."

"I know you love your art, but sleep is important."

"Yeah, I guess. It looks really cool, though!"

"I'm sure it does."

Virgil finished getting ready with the others and walked to class with Roman. Virgil could see Roman glancing at him from the corner of his eye but he couldn't read the expression on his face from that angle. Was something wrong? They got to class and sat down next to each other. Virgil finally managed to get a read on Roman. He seemed concerned. Virgil felt a pant of guilt. He didn't mean to concern all the others. He was fine. He knew he had had trouble sleeping in the past with his anxiety and self-loathing, but this was different. It was fine. He was fine.

"I'm fine, Roman. I promise," Virgil said quietly.

"Hm? Why do you-"

"I can see you're concerned. But I'm fine. I was just drawing. No major panics. No hating or hurting myself. Just drawing. I promise. I'll try to go to bed earlier tonight."