Assistance Required

Remy

TW cursing, panic attack

Thurs Feb 4

Virgil was far too tired to even try to exist this morning. They went out to eat for Janus' birthday and had cupcakes. After their little celebration, Janus had a video chat with his mom. Virgil ended up getting dragged in since Grace wanted to check on him and honestly, he didn't mind. They ended up staying up late talking to her before finally going to bed. Now that it was morning, he regretted all of life.

Virgil wasn't kicked out of class today so he had to actually be active this morning. It was gross. He didn't want to go to geology after tennis, but at least he got to sit down for a bit. Class was boring as usual but he needed this class to graduate so he tried his best to pay attention. His mind was focused on his art class. He was excited to finish his black and white still-life. He was really enjoying just painting, and the homework this week wasn't that bad either. He was just supposed to work on a color-value grid.

When he finally got into class, he got his stuff and sat down. He was organizing his space when he heard a sigh next to him. He caught someone sitting down next to him.

"I need another coffee," they said as they sat down.

"Don't we all," Virigl muttered as he noticed them place an empty cup on the desk.

"So, you think they'll let us add a little color soon? As fun as black and white is, it's already getting old. I could use a little more spice in my life."

"I uh- I think we're starting on colors next week."

"I fucking hope so. Because gray-scale is so dull. Like I get it if it's your thing, like you rock the black and all, but I can't do that with my life. I need my colors."

Virgil could feel himself blushing. He wasn't used to compliments.

"I-I wouldn't say I 'rock the black'," he sputtered.

"Honey, you definitely rock the black. Not everyone can rock the emo look, but you, my friend, make that look good."

"I-I-"

They laughed.

"No need to get so flustered, Babe. I'm just messing with you. I'm Remy by the way. I prefer they/them pronouns, but if you want you can ask and I'll tell you how I'm feeling."

"O-oh. Um- I'm Virgil. Just h-he/him."

"Virgil? Wait, you wouldn't happen to know a blonde puffball named Patton, would you?"

"Uh- yeah. How did you know?"

"He's in a psychology class with my boyfriend. Sometimes we chill together between classes. He likes to talk about all of his little 'kiddos.' It's adorable. Anyway, he mentioned you were taking art classes, I didn't think we had a class together! This'll be so fun!"

"O-oh, I guess."

They laughed again.

"Patton did say you were a little shy. Don't worry, you'll warm up to me! Do you have a class after this? We can grab a coffee!"

"N-no, but I um- I kind of just planned on meeting my friends in the student center. We usually do homework together there."

"We can still grab a coffee! I have to meet my boyfriend after this too!"

"Um-" Virgil thought it over. It was just getting coffee... with someone he just met. He wasn't sure how to feel about them yet, but they did have a sort of charm to them. He chewed on his lip a bit before finally giving in. "I-I guess I could use another dose of caffeine."

They laughed again.

"Who doesn't?"

They turned to their painting in silence. Virgil actually found himself smiling a bit. Remy was kind of weird and he wasn't sure how to feel about them yet. Even still, he felt like he could trust them or at least that maybe they could be friends. Maybe Patton was rubbing off on him.

Suddenly, Virgil could feel his chest tightening. His brush hovered over the paper. It was like he couldn't move. He couldn't understand it, he was fine a minute ago. What happened? Why was he so scared all of a sudden. He could feel his heart beating faster and his breathing quickened. He stared at the paper in front of him. It took all his focus just to move the brush to the side so he wouldn't ruin his painting. He wanted to get away. He wanted to leave. He wanted to go to his room. He curled in on himself a little holding a hand to his chest. What the hell was going on? Why was he panicking?

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing like Logan had taught him. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. He continued the process until he felt his chest relax a little. He opened his eyes and looked down at the brushes again. A part of him still felt on edge but he still wanted to paint. He worked slowly so his shaky hands wouldn't mess up his work. He kept focusing on taking deep breaths to try to remain calm. He wasn't sure why he was so on edge, especially when he was fine just a minute ago.

After class, Remy and Virgil walked to the student center. Virgil didn't really feel like talking anymore, so he just nodded along to what Remy was saying. They liked to talk, which was fine, because Virgil was more of a listener anyway. They ordered their coffees and said goodbye before parting ways. Virgil had planned on going to meet his friends, but he just wanted to curl up in a corner right now. He walked up to his room and sat down on his bed. He turned on some music and curled up in the corner with a pillow, closing his eyes and tuning out the world.

He could feel himself relaxing as he got lost in his music. He just took deep breaths and focused on the melody. He wished he had headphones or earbuds or something. He'd have to get himself new ones eventually. After some time, he felt okay enough to rejoin the world. He turned off his music and decided to do his homework in the student center with his friends. It was a lot later than he had planned, but at least he didn't feel like he was going to fall into another panic.

He just couldn't understand why he started panicking. What was wrong with him?