Assistance Required

First Kiss

TW anxiety, self-deprecation, mention of self-harm

Fri Feb 5

Virgil stared at the food in front of him. Roman's class got canceled and he wanted to grab something to eat with him after Spanish, but Virgil didn't really feel like eating. He was just too tense to actually put anything in his system. As much as he didn't want to, he knew he should at least try so he took a small bite, chewing slowly.

"So, have you painted on your new canvases yet?" Roman asked.

Virgil tore his gaze from the food to look at Roman. He almost forgot he was here.

"O-oh, uh- n-not yet."

"You okay? I didn't mean to startle you."

"Y-yeah, I'm fine."

Virgil looked back down at his food. He didn't deserve Roman. He was always going out of his way to do nice things and what did he ever do in return? He was always caught up in himself and his own problems. He never did anything for anyone else.

"R-Roman... why do you..." Virgil paused. Was it really a good idea to ask? But it was too late to turn back now.

"Why do I, what?" Roman asked.

"Um... why do you... like me? I don't really think I've been a very good boyfriend. I just... I don't see why you want to date me."

"Virgil... just because you don't see it, doesn't mean you don't have value. I love spending time with you," Roman grabbed Virgil's hands, holding them gently. "You have an interesting sense of humor. You're so snarky and sarcastic sometimes. You make fun of us but in a funny way. You have a really good laugh and I wish I could draw it out of you more often. I wasn't sure how to feel about you at first, but after spending time with you alone in the library when we were working on Spanish, I just... I don't know... seeing you all serious about your work but actually talking to me in that snarky way... I knew you were being yourself. You aren't afraid to be you. It may take you time to warm up to someone, but once you do you just have a sort of energy about you. I know you may not feel it all the time, but you are a lot of fun to be around. And you aren't a bad boyfriend. I'm dating you because I like you, not your money or anything else. I want to spend time with you. And sometimes I want to spoil you because I love to see you smile and hear you laugh, but that's all I want. I'm happy with things the way they are. I understand your situation and I don't want you to feel like you have to push yourself too hard to go out of your way for me. I promise you, I'm happy."

Virgil stared at their hands while he tried to process what Roman said. He could feel a lump in his throat. He didn't deserve any of it. How did he even get to this point? Roman let go of one of his hands and placed it on Virgil's cheek. He smiled gently.

"Virgil, can I kiss you?"

Virgil felt his heart skip a beat. He had never kissed anyone before. He wasn't sure how to feel about it, but he didn't mind. He gave Roman a small nod. Roman moved his hand to cup his face as he leaned forward. Virgil closed his eyes as Roman's lips met his own. Roman was gentle and ran his thumb along Virgil's cheekbone as they kissed. It was a lot of physical contact to absorb. He tried to take it all in but all he could really focus on was his heart racing. Roman pulled away but continued to rub his thumb on Virgil's cheek. Virgil looked into Roman's eyes and Roman gave him a soft smile.

"You do have people who love you, Virgil. Never forget that. Please try to go a little easier on yourself."

They finished eating and Roman walked Virgil to his next class. After class, Virgil went back to the student center to get some homework done. Soon enough, he needed to leave for his therapy appointment. He found himself a little nervous walking in. A lot had happened since he last saw her, but he wasn't sure if he was okay sharing all of that. But Logan did ask him to at least try.