Puns.2

☃Day #94: W i n t e r & A l p a c a puns

☃Day #94: W i n t e r & A l p a c a puns --SOMEONE REQUESTED ALPACA PUNS BEFORE BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THEY STILL READ THESE, but if you do, here they are.

❅ The bestiality fugitive spent years on the llama.

❅Alpacas invented llama-nation.

❅Does an alpaca's doorbell go 'llama-llama-ding-dong'?

❅Puns about winter are snow joke.

❅Do Eskimos listen to MushMusic?

❅Do top scientists in the North get the Snowbelt Prize?

❅Those in the Snowbelt live in squallor.

❅Do Arctic sommeliers worry about the wine-chill factor?

❅Those who play poker in a snowstorm must carefully shovel their decks.

❅Do soldiers up North wear flake jackets for protection?

❅What do you call a gangsta snowman? 

        ❀Froze-T.

❅What do bad Eskimos get in their stockings for Xmas?

         ❀A lump of cold.

❅They top the charts every January –

         ❀the Black-Ice Peas.

❅What do a spelling bee and a winter storm have in common?

         ❀They both have I-spell-its!

❅NED: Do you take your bike year-round?

        ❀ED: No, but in winter I ride my icicle!

❅You're not allowed to have ‘big hair' in winter –

        ❀you'll get 'fro sin.

❅Who played guitar for Guns 'N' Frozes? 

        ❀Slush.
❅What happened to their lead singer's van in winter? 

        ❀Axel Froze.

❅And there was one other near miss, where the rhythm guitarist was driving the van in a snowstorm and he couldn't see the lane markers.

         ❀They called him Blizzy Stradlin'.

❅The stressed out snowman was acting flaky. That was, until he had a meltdown.

         ❀And finally he was indicted for having a slush fund.

❅Hear about the Roman general who, every time there was an ice storm, he had an epileptic fit?

        ❀It was ‘Hail… Seizure!'

❅NED: Is it likely that fist-sized ice pellets will clog our vacuum?

        ❀ED: Yeah, right – maybe when hail freezes hoover.

❅It's cold out, so I like to go out for some really big sandwiches…

        ❀It must be the subs-hero temperatures.

❅You can tell when winter hits hard:

        ❀look at all the black eyes on the roadway.

❅There's a chance I'll get a sapling anywhere from December to March.

         ❀It's the win-tree weather.

❅Hear about the gay polar bear who was depressed living up North, and so he left the Arctic, went all the way to the Antarctic, and actually found a girlfriend there?

        ❀But he was still not content, since he was now a bi polar bear.

❅Instead of waiting in lineups outside in the cold,

        ❀I'd rather be on icy-queue (ICQ).

❅As the winter snow turned into rain,

        ❀Frosty began to realize that fame was sleeting.

❅When they depicted Mohammad's alpaca in a Danish newspaper cartoon,

        ❀it was an insult to 'is llama.

❅They crossed a camel, an alpaca and cow -

        ❀and got what? A llamadairy.

❅"Don't bother loading up the llama -

         ❀Alpaca light!"

❅Mr. Kurtz went mad in the jungle and starting kissing dozens of llamas.

        ❀They made a movie of it, called Alpaca Lips Now.

❅Do llamas love hockey?

        ❀Yes, they're all-pucka!

❅A llama's favourite video game? 

        ❀AlPaca-man.

[the gif to the side is totally not an Alpaca, but who cares right, 'cause everyone loves Kuzco!]