Puns.2

➣Day #155: A l l & M a n & W a l k & O u t puns

➣Day #155: A l l & M a n & W a l k & O u t puns

➬I never liked befriending assassins.

        ➛They're allbackstabbers.

➬When I was a carpenter, I specialized in installing bathroom fixtures.

         ➛I am very proud of all my vanities.

➬The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture,

        ➛but all I really wanted was one night stand.

➬A Cajun restaurant made all their sauce on one day for the week.

        ➛The cook roux'ed the day.

➬Married hang man were the best at their job,

        ➛they knew how to tie the knot.

➬The ice at the rink has many ruts.

        ➛I think the maintenance crew is slipping up.

➬Even though the chef's girlfriend was grate in many ways.

        ➛She had a temper that boiled easily, was half-baked and extremely kneady.

➬What do you call a musician who steals sheet music?

         ➛A clef-to maniac.

➬A man walked into a chimney store and asked 'How much for this one?'.

        ➛The salesman replied 'It's on the house.'

➬A man walked into a bar with a lump of asphalt under one arm and said to the bartender -

        ➛A whisky please, and one for the road.

➬When Plato discovered he was out of food,

        ➛he decided to go shop at the stoa.

➬My new girlfriend and I are moving together into a tree house,

        ➛I hope we won't fall out.

➬My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing.

         ➛I have to say I saw it coming.

                 ➬The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.

➛Textile workers who lived at the manufacturing site in fabricated dwellings were closely knitted.

➬When the goat ate a Scrabble set,

         ➛the letters cameout in alphabetical ordure.

➬In the morning a lawyer walked on his lawn and experienced the dew process.

➛The hiking shop employs people from all walks of life.

➬People are choosing cremation over traditional burial.

         ➛It shows that they are thinking out of the box.

➬His wife and daughter walked into prison to visit him with a cake, single file.

➛As a tightrope walker she was top-of-the-line.

➬The race horse went lame early.

         ➛It was the first outof its gait.

➬The key to changing your performance ability is by tuning out criticism and staying musically octave.

➛When I found out that the fire department was charging $75.00 per table for their craft fair I told them they could go to blazes

➬After periodic doubts about his vocational calling,

        ➛the young chemistry teacher concluded he was outof his element.

➬I went to the store to buy some soup but they wereout of stock.

➛I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions.

➬My neighbor just got the part for Scrooge in a local performance.

         ➛I'd love to go see him, but that play scares the Dickens out of me.

➬A man who cannot read the sign that warns people from throwing garbage on the ground is illiterate.

[IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE MISSED JORDAN GORDON LEVITT'S PERFORMANCE OF "SUPERBASS" ITS ON TOP STARTING AT 8:20 OR BEFORE.]