Puns.2

⌦Day #96: W o r k i n g o u t d o o r s puns --ew

⌦Day #96: W o r k i n g o u t d o o r s puns --this pun book thing doesn't seem as fun as it used to be. :/

☗John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

☖Deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.

☗I like wool gathering for the shear joy of it.

☖There was an archeologist who made no bones about digging dirt up on people.

☗Since I've taken the job in The Everglades I've been swamped!

☖The fertiliser business is a growing industry.

☗The landscaper thought gardening magazines were fun to leaf through.

☖The fruit farmer was plum happy he pruned his orchard last fall.

☗Correspondence citing farm machinery defects would be a Deere John letter.

☖I refuse to work with compost,

        ☗it's degrading.

☖I just got my permit to harvest shrimp in the Antarctic.

         ☗Now I have a licence to Krill.

☖When I asked the man how he became a ditch-digger,

        ☗he said he just fell into it.

☖The cowboy that got fired from his ranch job wasn't crazy,

        ☗he was just deranged.

☖I was thinking that hot air balloon operators don't make very good friends.

        ☗Sure they can be uplifting at times, but in the end they always bring you down.

☖A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water.

         ☗I thought he meant well.

☖I know a rancher who has 100 head of cattle,

        ☗but he thought there were only 99 until he rounded them up.

☖Two geologists were staring at a huge fissure in a cliff face and one was overheard to say

       ☗"It's not my fault".

☖The big city reporter did not impress the Idaho potato farmer,

        ☗after all he was just a commentator.

☖What do you put in an urban garden to watch over your beets?

         ☗A metrognome.

☖That soil scientist always travels by himself.

        ☗He's a loam ranger.

☖He was almost persuaded to invest in a poultry farm,

        ☗but chickened out at the last minute.

☖Did you hear about the farmer who got attacked by a cow?        

         ☗He milked it for all it was worth.

☖Why was Farmer Brown angry?

        ☗Someone got his goat.

☖Professional rock climbers,

        ☗the only people paid to get high.

[is this better with or without the special effects, (italics and bold)?]