❣Day #132: C a n d y & B a r puns
♜An embrace at a nudist colony is a bare hug.
♙Winning candy as a prize is always a sweet victory.
♜Those who eat candy with both hands are ambi-dextrose.
♙Don't let a candy seller sweet talk you.
♜Candy who was a sweet girl married Rich who was a wealthy guy.
♙The testimony at the barbershop is mostly hair-say.
♜A harp that was shaved is a bare-faced lyre.
♙A doctor who became a bartender was always giving out shots!
♜My friend and I are going to ride our bikes to a house party because I don't think we could handle bars.
♙The recent graduate of law school took a field trip to an automated warehouse to finish up his bar code requirements.
♜I quit gymnastics because I was tired of hanging around the bars.
♙I asked the bartender for a small sample and he gave me this micro brew.
♜The barber opened up a shavings account.
♙If a barista is not allowed to make espresso she will lose her tamper.
♜How can you get a drywall plasterer to finish the job?
♙They barely start and then they stop.
♜Even covered in salad dressing my lettuce lookedbare,
♙so I put some cloves on it.
♜When the lumber baron was unable to log in,
♙his business ended in a forced shut down!
♜What do you call a spittoon in a wine bar?
♙Grape expectorations.
♜There was a report of shots fired in a local bar.
♙The police don't know what triggered the commotion.
♜The aspiring limbo dancer overcame his fear of crowded bars,
♙becoming a significant underachiever.
♜One day at the bar there was a blackout.
♙Good thing I had a light beer.
♜My dog failed his driving test,
♙he can't parallel bark.
♜Dissatisfied with the lack of thoroughness in the demolition of the old tavern,
♙he got into the bulldozer himself and razed the bar to a new level.
♜A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said,
♙'We don't serve bacteria in this place.'
♜The bacteria said,
♙'But I work here, I'm staph.'
♜Bell, Bark and Kennel, a novel by Ivan Pavlov,
♙chronicles the birth of the Salivation Army.
♜I wrote a song about small, burrowing animals.
♙I decided it was time to gopher baroque.
♜I hate the price of candy at the movie theater.
♙They're always raisinette.
♜There was a fight in the candy store.
♙Two suckers got licked.
♜He sold candy and chocolate.
♙A lot of girls were sweet on him.
♜On my chicken farm, I own the birds scratching around on the ground in the barn,
♙but I am paying off the ones sitting on the roosts -
♜they are on higher perches.
[why not just try today with out italics?]
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Puns.2
Humoryou thought the first 65 days of puns were cool? WELL AHAHA, you thought wrong because we have 300 hundred more days to go! but only a hundred puns will be included in this c: NOW ENJOY the more puns that are to be...
