Puns.2

✔Day #139: P a r a & M o r e puns

✔Day #139: P a r a & M o r e puns

♤If you make candles you are going to need a lot ofparaffin-alia.

♠A vampire had a paranormal twins.

♤A radio personality in a parade gave a short wave.

♠A couple of ambulance drivers are a paramedics.

♤A guy who inherited two yachts had a paradox.

♠If you find ten cents in each of your pockets be glad of the new paradigms.

♤A parade of horses went down Mane street.

♠My dog failed his driving test,

        ♤he can't parallel bark.

♠Wally wasn't sure in which branch of the Army he wanted to serve,

        ♤but he gravitated toward theparatroops.

♠My friend is very paranoid.

        ♤He says people are either foe him or against him.

♠He was to carry two flags in the parade,

        ♤but decided that would be a double standard.

♠At first the paratroops didn't obey orders,

        ♤but finally they fell in line.

♠I couldn't decide which of two physicians to see.

        ♤It was a paradox.

♠A paramedic got a new job as a chauffeur:

        ♤an ambiance driver.

♠When I was young, I wanted to study archaeology,

        ♤but my dad thought it was nothing more than a lot of skullduggery ...

♠The termite wanted to lose weight,

        ♤so he started eating more lattice.

♠When the wino suspected his muscatel was watered down,

        ♤he needed more proof.

♠The store keeps calling me to come back and buymore bedroom furniture,

        ♤but all I really wanted was one night stand.

♠The environmentalist rode his bike 20 miles in the morning and 20 more in the evening.

        ♤He loved recycling

♠The mushroom farmer improved his morel,

        ♤by pressing a button and going to portabella for harvest.

♠I once thought about cloning a new, more efficient brain,

        ♤but then I realized that I was getting a head of myself

♠The IRS left a message on my cell phone that I owed them more money.

        ♤It was a taxed message.

♠A pie went for an audition for a part in a play.

        ♤The casting agent told him he performed well,

                ♠ but it was more of a sausage roll.

♤The sledder who got injured realized that his wounds were more than he tobogganed for.

♠Guerrilla warfare is more than just throwing a banana.

♤It's amazing what two or more sinners can achieve together with synergy.

♠I trained my dog to hunt for underground mushrooms but now he's more truffle than he's worth.

[my form of torture is giving people false hopes even though they should know better by now, BUT LIKE MELO SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU STILL MY FRIEND AFTER I KEEP DOING THIS TO YOU, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.]