Puns.2

☃Day #138: N e v e r & W o r k puns

☃Day #138: N e v e r & W o r k puns

✦In equations with square numbers I can never find the root of the problem.

✧When I'm feeling tired at work I just use my smart phone to download a nap

✦The orthopedist said that working with fractures isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

✧I had a tough time working as a garbage collector because of miasma.

✦I can never wear glasses.

        ✧They make me see-sick.

✦Never hire a depressed exorcist -

        ✧they're not very good at lifting spirits.

✦I love playing golf,

        ✧but when putting I can never catch a break.

✦Dorothy's dog, of the Wizard of Oz fame, always eats his food entirely -

         ✧he never leaves any scraps because it's in toto.

✦I never understood why people liked to play soft ball.

        ✧It's a very underhanded thing to do.

✦I'd really be tempted to take these trousers out back and set them on fire,

         ✧but I've never been one for burning my britches.

✦The phone call interrupted my nap, 

        ✧and I never did get the rest.

✦Old colanders never die,

        ✧they just can't take the strain anymore.

✦Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately.

        ✧I never thought I'd hear myself say that.

✦Since I went to work in the plumbing department of the home center,

        ✧I have developed a multi-fauceted personality disorder.

✦I work in a sweater factory.

        ✧It's a very clothes-knit community.

✦A pickle maker fell into one of the vats at work.

        ✧At hospital it was determined he had a brine injury.

✦Did you hear about the pilot who always had work?

        ✧He was great at landing a job.

✦The state police highway officer worked tirelessly in the heavy rain to assist a lady whose car was stuck in a ditch.

        ✧He was a real trooper.

✦I've never really known what I wanted to do in my later years,

        ✧but in the long run,

                 ✦I want to take part in the Boston Marathon.

✧The carpenter was well-known for nailing his work.

✦Pharmacists find their work to be very encapsulating.

✧It's a cut-throat world working in the otolaryngologist's office.

✦An Electrician's work is well grounded.

[I hit my elbow on my bathroom counter, and now I walk with my arm stretched out, so I'm technically part zombie.]