❆Day #142: P u n puns

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Day #142: P u n puns

The man loved a good play on words but his wife couldn't stand the punishment.

☛Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.

For this tree pun I had to go out on a limb and branch out to some other sources.

☛A pun spun with a good yarn gets fabricated!

Making up puns about the finest soil is the loess form of humor.

☛I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency.

The man's igneous puns were eventually written in stone.

☛My shrink assures me that my obsession with the formalization of puns is just a 'phrase I'm going through'.

Funniness and cleverness have always been two notable factors for rating puns,

         ☛but the third has groan in significance.

What's the best way to serve a stack of puncakes?

         ☛Syruptitiously.

To add to the punishment, Satan made all the tormented souls listen to elevator music.

        ☛The Hells Are Alive With the Sounds of Muzak.

When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely,

        ☛he was so sad he was disheartened.

Of all sports humor, football is my favorite.

        ☛I get a kick out of the punts.

What do you call a person rabid with wordplay?

        ☛An energizer punny.

I know a pun about Beethoven,

        ☛but I won't say it because it would just fall on deaf ears.

What does a guy need to do on this site to get a punposted?

         ☛Put a stamp on it?

When the bad poet stood in front of the judge,

        ☛the judge thought the punishment should fit the rhyme.

My friend gave me a book about puns for my birthday and I loved it.

         ☛It was two meaningful.

Forklift operators do not care for puns -

        ☛they find them unpalletable.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.

        ☛Really it was just a play on words.

What do you call a pun sandwich?

        ☛A punini.

If jokes could be owned like land,

        ☛then no good punwould go undeeded.

The grammarian was never late.

        ☛He was always verypunctual.

What's the funniest bunch of fruit?

        ☛A pun-net of strawberries!

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