▰Day #161: S t o p & H a m m e r & T i m e puns

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Day #161: S t o p & H a m m e r & T i m e puns

⊞My dentist would simply not stop working on my teeth. 

   He was abscessive compulsive.

⊞To stop snow from entering your mouth in a blizzard you should grit your teeth!

 A mathematician that couldn't stop adding up recently went incremental.

⊞How can you get a drywall plasterer to finish the job?

   They barely start and then they stop.

⊞The miser wasn't able to stop on a dime.

 I had a tough time working as a garbage collector because of miasma.

⊞The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig.  

   He was looking for new material.

⊞When the shocked IRS agent was found guilty of tax evasion he had to take time to collect himself.

 Each time I tried shooting blindfolded I found it an aimless pursuit.

⊞I've stopped gluing formica to particle board.

   It was counterproductive.

⊞The dentist put braces on his patient as a stop-gap measure.

  Labor Day is a good time to stop and reflect on the august events the the preceding month.

⊞My daughter saw a herd of llamas. I said, 'We couldstop and dally there.' 

   She said, 'Alpaca suitcase.'

⊞I didn't know which hammer to get, 

   but I think I nailed it.

⊞He kept an alarm clock in the back window of his car. 

   He was always ahead of his time.

⊞That religious fellow fell for the same scam two times in a row. 

   He is a burned again Christian.

⊞We can only have spring break in March, 

   because the last time it happened in February, it took until August to get it fixed.

⊞It took the replay analyst a long time to cut his grass. 

   He did it in slo-mow.


[SERIOUSLY WTF WATTPAD. WHAT IS UP WITH THESE RANDOM CHANGES. WHY DON'T WE EVER GET TO CHOSE HOW WE WANT IT. its been like 8 minutes and I already don't like the new editing setting.]

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