Puns.2

❥Day #68: l o v e & m a r r i a g e puns [ew right?]

❥Day #68: l o v e & m a r r i a g e puns [ew right?]

♣When he gave his wife a necklace he got a chain reaction.

♣When the pharmacist found out her husband was having an affair it was a hard pill to swallow.

♣They argued about their vacation and finally stayed at the last resort.

♣On Valentine's Day flower prices rose to the occasion.

♣She was the apple of his eye and he liked to sit down be cider.

♣He who hogs the sheets is usually very wrapped up in himself.

♣Pre-arranged marriages pre-pair people for the future.

♣The Irish lass was disappointed with the engagement ring from her fiance because it was a sham rock.

♣My wife tells me I'm a skeptic -

        ♢but I don't believe a word she says.

♣Let's talk about rights and lefts.

        ♢You're right so I left.

♣What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married?

        ♢Can't elope.

♣My dog swallowed my engagement ring.

        ♢I ended up with a diamond in the ruff.

♣An invisible man marries an invisible woman.

        ♢The kids were nothing to look at either.

♣Two nuclear technicians got married.

        ♢She was radiant and he was glowing. 

♣Two florists got married.

        ♢It was an arranged marriage.

♣I have a high fidelity phone -        

        ♢it can only call my wife's number.

♣The two pianists had a good marriage.

        ♢They always were in a chord.

♣Two fonts, Arial and Calibri, were in the midst of a bad breakup.

       ♢Calibri said, 'I'm sorry, you're personality is too bold.' Arial responded, 'You're just not my type...'

♣I support both of my wives very well.

        ♢I think that's big o' me.

♣A husband and wife argued over the weather,

         ♢but it soon blew over.

♣When a psychic showed me the girl I'll marry,

        ♢it was love at second sight.

♣Instead of engaging in my own hobbies, my wife has me constantly helping her in her garden.

        ♢I guess you could say I am pistil whipped.

♣I don't recommend dating bridge builders,

         ♢they have truss issues.

♣They were a fastidious couple.

         ♢She was fast, he was tedious.

♣The bridegroom got to the church when he was supposed to.

        ♢He was at the rite place at the rite time.

[a. I am now learning portuguese and spanish, thank you Duolingo.com

b. Ansel Elgort paints miniatures on pebbles, and god he's beautiful.

c. anyone noticed how dave franco looks like Christiano Ronaldo?]