When a Lynx Meets a Leopard [Ash Lynx x fem reader]

Chapter 46: Haunted By The Past

Song: Sex With A Ghost
By: Teddy Hyde

(Y/n) POV

"I-"
"No. Forget I said anything." I cut him off, gently removing Ash's head from my lap. I then walked to the kitchen, retrieving a first aid kit and taking a deep breath before going back to a confused looking Ash. "Now, let me dress your wounds." I said, making it clear I wouldn't be taking no for an answer.

Ash sighed and got up, moving to one of the two beds, removing his shirt as he did. I followed him, taking a seat down on the bedside. "Not going to lie, this will sting." I mumbled, dipping a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol. I saw Ash bite the inside of his lip as he looked at a news article on the tablet, waiting for the sting I said would come. Holding his left arm with one hand, I brought the cotton ball to the open wound. Ash jerked away, hissing in pain at me and yanking his arm from my grasp.

"Sorry, I did say it would sting." 
"Yeah, but I didn't expect it to hurt that much!" He frowned, looking at the slightly bloody cotton I held in tweezers. "I don't know about you, but I have a delicate body. It really hurts if you do it all sloppy like that." I didn't respond, instead I snatched his arms and placed the rubbing alcohol soaked cotton back onto it, ignoring his hisses and threats. "Oh shut it!" I snapped, quickly wrapping Ash's arm in a clean bandage. "See, all done, and you're alive!" I smirked, getting up from the bed and walking to the kitchen.

Eiji, who had just gotten out of the bath, followed me into the kitchen. "I saw all that." He chuckled, looking at what I was doing. "I've never seen someone react do dramatically to some antiseptic." Eiji giggled, pouring himself a glass of water. "Y'know what, Ash! Can we get a takeaway or something?" I called, getting no response. "Okay, someone's in a strop. So, Eiji, what do you want?"
"Hmm... I heard there was a nice Japanese takeaway around here? Perhaps we could get some sushi... ooh! And some tofu!" He grinned at the thought, clapping his hands together. I chuckled at his reaction, grabbing some money and leaving the flat, Eiji in tow and a sulky Ash following close behind.

We soon got back without any interferences, and quickly sat down and dug in. Eiji taught me how to properly use chopstick, apparently I was doing it wrong, while Ash pouted and nibbled on a piece of tofu. "Ash? Why are you pouting like a three year old that just got scolded?" I chuckled, nudging him in the side with my elbow. "Hey." I mumbled, nudging him slightly harder when he didn't look at me. I picked up a piece of sushi with my chopsticks, holding it to Ash's lips. Without hesitation, he took it and chewed on it contently, a small smile on his lips. "God this is like baby-" I was cut off my a sushi roll being shoved into my mouth, a very smug looking Ash looking at me with a smirk. I ate the sushi, glaring at Ash the whole time while Eiji just looked at us as if we'd gone insane.

"Well this is a first. I can never say I've had a sushi roll shoved down my throat at... 8pm." I chuckled when I finished eating. "I'm going to bed. It's not late but I'm tired." Ash mumbled, getting up from the sofa and flopping down on the bed a few meters away. He looked back at me expectantly, rolling onto his side and making room for another person. I sighed and looked over at Eiji. "Looks like I'm going to bed too." I chuckled, walking over to the bed Ash was in and laying down next to him. There was a thump on the other bed as Eiji fell onto it, followed by the lights being turned off and a quiet 'Night' from Eiji as he drifted off. 

Ash too was asleep, his arm over my shoulders and hand on the back of my head, holding it down on his chest. I nestled into him, draping an arm over his stomach and pulling myself closer so that almost every part of my body was in contact with his. It didn't take me long to slip into sleep, feeling comfortable and safe.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to find my warmth gone and the sound of running water. I sat up, rubbing my head and eyes. I saw Ash stood over the sink, splashing water in his face and shaking considerably. I got up from the bed, making my way over to him. I stopped about a meter behind Ash. As soon as he saw me in the mirror, he spun around and took a step towards me, instantly wrapping his arms around me. "Hey? Hey, Ash. What's going on?" I hummed quietly, rubbing his back and swaying from side to side. It took me a moment to realise it, but Ash was crying, his whole body heaving from his attempts to keep it quiet. 

I gently lead him to the bed we were sleeping in and sat him down, kneeling down before him. I lifted a hand to his face and wiped away a stray tear that slipped out. "Tell me what's happening." I said softly, not moving my hand from Ash's cheek as he lent into it. "I tried to forget." He began, taking a deep breath to calm his shaking voice. "Former male prostitute, gang leader,  and murderer, and I still get shaken up."  He mumbled, hanging his head. Ash's hair fell over his beautiful eyes, which were red from crying. "Don't say that." I frowned, rubbing his cheek with my thumb. "I was eight when I first killed a man." He carried on, looking up at me with wide eyes. "I was raped. I was terrified. So scared, I couldn't find my voice. My heart was screaming for help, but I couldn't let out a single cry." A fresh round of tears fell from Ash's eyes. I began rubbing his uninjured arm with my hand, further letting him know I was there. "When I shot him, I cried. I cried because I felt nothing. I'm scared of myself." Ash brought his hands up, staring at them as he cried. "I killed Shorter... I don't know how much blood is on my hands."

I slipped my hands into his, standing up and pulling Ash into a hug. "I don't feel anything... nothing." He cried into my shoulder, making the shirt I was wearing damp. "Hey, it's alright... calm down." I soothed, rocking from side to side again. "You do feel it. You're hurt. Really hurt. I can see that." I rubbed his back with one hand and stroked his hair with the other. "You saved me, y'know that? Please, remember one thing, alright? I'm here, and I always will be. Even if the rest of the world turns it's back on you. I'll stay with you. If that is wat you want." I whispered in Ash's ear. He pulled away, looking me straight in the eye his whole body still trembling.

"I-I love you." He stuttered, his voice shaking as more tears slipped from his eyes.

~~~
I love this man too much and that scene- 😭
Anyways,
I hope you have an amazing day/night,
~Author-Chan❤