When a Lynx Meets a Leopard [Ash Lynx x fem reader]

Chapter 62: It's my fault

Song: I Bet On Losing Dogs
By: Mitski

(Y/n) POV

Me and Ash were in a dark alleyway. The bright city of New York at one end, pitch black at the other. As stood with his ack to me, looking over his shoulder as he was outlined by darkness. I felt his stunning eyes fixed on me, a soft smile playing on his lips. He didn't say a word, instead he looked straight a head. I took a step towards Ash, hand outstretched to tough the rough feeling of denim. But it didn't come. My hand seemed to slip straight through Ash, his image fizzleing beneath my finger tips. He then reapeared again, a few meters in front of me. So I took a few more steps, reaching out, and watching as he disappeared under my hand. 

"Ash?" I called out softly, making the illusion look over his shoulder with a smile. He then turned around again, putting his hands in his pockets and walking away. "Ash? Where are you going? Ash!" I called after him, running to catch up. But no matter how fast I ran, his walking figure was always faster. Always just out of reach.

I woke up with a start, sitting bolt in bed upright with sweat coating my skin. I winced slightly, feeling a throb of pain in my head. I gingerly reached up to touch it, feeling a firm crust of red blood that had formed on my temple. "Are you awake now?" Someone said from across the room I was in. I looked over at the person who said it, positioning myself up against a pillow. "Hi." I replied, briging the thin cover that was over my body up to my chest. "Don't worry. Yut Lung doesn't know." None other that Soo-Ling Sing stated, walking closer to me with his hands in his pockets. "I'm the boss of Chinatown." He continued, sitting down backwards on a chair next to me. 

"Then you're one of Shorter's?" I asked him, already knowing the answer. "You knew him?" The boy asked, looking surprised. I sighed heavily, but nodded slowly. "You said you were Ash's friend when we were locked up." Sing said, refering to the breif conversation we had after we were bailed out. "Did Ash really kill Shorter? If you know, tell me. I want to know the truth!" He demanded, leaning forwards over the back of the chair. I sighed again, leaning my head back against the wall behind me. "If I tell you, what will you do?" I replied, choosing my words pretty carefully. "Nothing, really. Ash is already dead anyways."
"Ash ain't dead." I said firmly, finally looking at Sing. He looked right back at me, his lips pulled into a smirk.

"You think so too? That incredibly tough guy would never die so easily. Its way too fishy" Sing mused, touching his chin slightly in thought. "Do you work for Yut Lung?" I asked, looking Sing up and down with some suspicion. "No way. My boss is Shorter, nobody else." I couldn't help but smile at his response, this guy really did care about Shorter. "Do you plan to fight Ash? When you see him next, I mean." I questioned the boy, already knwoing how he would respond to the question. "I have to. When a boss is killed, it is the new boss's responsibility to get revenge." Sing replied rather loudly, a look of determination in his dark eyes. "Besides, Shorter was Ash's best friend. And he killed him."

"He didn't have a choice! If you'd have been there, you would understand. But you weren't, and you better thank your lucky stars you weren't. It was horrendous." I spat at Sing, to which he looked at me with shock. "Look, Sing. Shorter was in a state beyond saving, he had a knife, and was forced to attack me. I was already struggling with something I don't wanna talk about, but please believe me when I say that Ash didn't want to kill Shorter. He really didn't, but he had no other choice." I cried, images of that fateful day flashing in my head. "Oh fuck... I feel so guilty. It's my fault. It's all my fault." Sing just stared at me, paralysed and unsure what to do as I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed. 

It had been a while since I had cried like this, but I truly felt guilty about Shorter's death, and poor Sing just so happened to be there when I broke down. I had never really had time to mourn the man I had grown close to in just a couple months. "I-If I hadn't of come to America... Shorter might still be alive!" A hand landed gently on my shoulder. I looked up to see Sing, a sympathetic look on his face. "Look, (Y/n). I know I asked for the truth, but I find it hard to believe that it's all your fault." I forced myself to smile softly at him, nodding slowly and wiping the tears from my damp cheeks. 

"Sorry 'bout that." I appologised to Sing, just as there was a knock at the door. It opened a crack as Bones poked his hear around the corner, a huge grin forming on his face when he caught sight of me. "(Y/N)!" He shouted, pushing the door open do hard that it slamed into the wall. Bones bounded over to me, followed by a still happy, but less enthusiastic Kong and a few others from Ash's gang. Some from Shorter's, too. "Hey, Bones! Kong." I smiled back at him, Kong nodded in my direction as he lookd around the room. It was pretty bare, a bed, a table with some chairs and what was once used as a wardrobe. A set of draws was at the end of the bed, which I was currently in.

Sing scooted his chair out of the way, as Bones threw himself down onto the bed next to me. He just sat there, staring at me like an eager puppy while his leg bounced with excitment. I reached over to ruffle his hair as more members gathered in the room, and around the small wooden table. I didn't pay them any mind, leaning my head back against the wall with a sigh. None of the information Sing shared with the group was new to me, so I just zoned out while staring at the ceiling. Eventually, Bones left my side and joined the group, listening to Sing and the others talk. 

I hummed quietly to myself. watching as a small spider crawled across the ceiling silently. "But that's old news." A deep, familiar voice said from the doorway, making me jolt awake. My eyes glancd over to see Ash standing in the doorway, a couple of guys behind him. I blinked hard, trying to assure myself that I wasn't daydreaming. But no, he was really there.

Ash looked over to me, noticing my vacant stare. "What, do I look like a zombie or something?"
"Yeah, pretty much." I replied quickly, finally breaking fully out of my zone-out. I chuckled lightly at my own comment, making Ash pout for a second before resuming his original expression. "How did you find us?" Sing asked Ash, turning around in his chair. "I heard from Cain that you were released with (Y/n). What were you doing here?" Ash's eyes flicked over everyone in the room, finally landing on me for a second longer, then back to Sing. "We were going to help you." I replied when no one else would speak, slowly standing up and stretching out my sore muscles. 

"She told me everything. Why you had to kill Shorter." Sing muttered nonchalantly, looking down with closed eyes. I winced as Ash grabbed him, yanking Sing up from his seat and dragging him outside. "You all stay here." Ash called over his shoulder as they went, Sing not putting up as much protest as I though he would. I started walking towards the door. When I made it to the doorway, Bones's hand landed on my shoulder, making em turn around. "(Y/n), Boss told us to stay here." He said, looking at me quizically.

"Yeah, and since when do I follow Ash's orders?" I smiled sweetly, gently removing his hand from my shoulder and walking out the door.

~~~

Hello lovely people, how are you all?
Have a good day/night,
~Author-Chan❤