Him || samYU

24. Lost

Yu's pov.

I'm lost.

I took a random bus from school that I didn't even see where it's headed. Then I just stay on the bus until it stops at the last station. And I don't know where it is.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I looked at my dead phone. Ray kept calling me earlier, the school must have called and told him that I left school. But I wanted to be alone. So I turned off my phone.

I wonder where I am now. I've never been here before. There aren't many people here. But that is exactly what I want. What I need. I need to be alone so that I can clear my mind. 

Aaron.

Does he still look the same. Does he still look at me the same.

I regretted it a little because I didn't even turn around to look at his face.

But what if when I see his face, then.. what will I do. Am I going to hit him, kick him and slam him to the ground. Or will I cry and hug him, and tell him how much I miss him.

It's been a year. And everyday, for a year, as much as I tried hard to forget about him, that is how much I kept thinking about him.

Did he really love me? Did I really love him? That much that he did what he did and I did what I did.

We've been friends since elementary school. Our parents knew each other and had a good relationship.

Then when I was 14, my parents got into accident and they died. I was on the accident too and hospitalized for a week. That was the worst time. I lost my parents, and I was left alone. 

And on that worst time, the one who helped to stay alive was Aaron. 

Aaron's family took me home, they let me to live at their house. It's not because I don't want to live alone at my house, but it was too painful to stay at my house with so many memories about my parents. I only had my parents, so.. when I lost them, it felt like I lost my whole world. 

So I sold the house. And used the money for my life. But of course it's not enough for the rest of my life, so I started to work at Ray's coffee shop.

Aaron's family was really good to me. Aaron too, he's always really good to me. Since we were a kid, Aaron will always do what I said, he always give me what I wanted, he always pampered me. 

And after my parents gone, I depended on him a little too much. He also pampered me more than before. 

We got much closer. We used to only met at school, but since I lived with him, we still met at home too. 

We were practically 24/7 together. 

Then one day, Aaron said that he liked me, more than just a friend. He said that he loves me. 

I never know what love is. The people I love the most were my parents. But now that they're gone, I don't know anything about love.

So I thought that maybe, love is a good feeling I have towards another person. And that time, the only person that I have a good feeling for was Aaron. 

So when he asked me to be on relationship, I said yes. 

I've known Aaron for so long, 7 or 8 years is a long time to know how a person is. But when we're on relationship, I found out something new about Aaron.

Aaron was so damn possessive. 

It was like he had two different personality. He always act so sweet, pampered with his sweet act, sweet words when he's on good mood. But he turned into an asshole when he's angry.