Him || samYU

75. Shoes

Sam's pov.

Is this how regret feels like?

Why would I say that things? How could I.. How could I leave him?

And how the heck Yu can sleep this soundly? Like nothing happen! But.. he's beautiful. As he always is. Beautiful.

Damn it.

I shouldn't have done it. Break up? Really?

Sam, you're the dumbest person alive to ask for a break up with this most beautiful person that ever lives.

Why did I say it?!

But it's too late to regret it now.

Yu.. why didn't you say anything? How could you sleep like this? I can't even close my eyes for a second. But you..

I wish I could say that to him.

But of course I don't have the heart to wake him up.

Damn it. I should leave.

I have to go. I can't be here or I won't ever let Yu go. So I have to go.

But where..

I looked at Yu's face once again. How.. No. You can do this, Sam. Leave him. Leave him.. Leave him..

But where to go?

Hah.. really.. I want to cry..

No.. No. I should not cry. It's my fault. I don't have the right to even feel sad about this. This is all my fault.

I looked at Yu once again. This is the last time. Last time..

Gosh, I can't.

I have to go.

Yu likes the sound of wave, isn't he. Maybe it's a good idea to listen to it now. Beach.. is there a beach around here? I don't think.. Maybe I should go there. I need to go there.

I didn't expect to find a taxi at this hour. I even offered the driver double the payment to take me there, because I had no idea that it take 2 hours to get there. But still I want to get there.

I never knew that I am this sentimental of person. Maybe because this is the first time that I've ever loved someone this much. And this is my first heartbreak. It feels like I'm lost. I don't know what to do. No, I know what I want, I want to cry, and I want to be alone.

After the 2 hours of driving with the eerie silence atmosphere along the way, well I'm not even sure that the driver is human or not but I don't really care, I'm finally here.

It's dark. Of course. And there is no one, no one at all. This is the perfect place to be alone. Now I know why Yu went all the way here last time.

Yu.. I miss him already.

I walked slowly to the shore, the wave is stronger today than last time. That it feels rather than calming, it's actually raging.

I laughed softly to myself. Is it the wrong time to be here. Or maybe even the wave is angry to me because I just did something stupid and hurted Yu.

I sit on the sand, and opened up my phone. There is no notification. No one knows that I'm gone.

That's great. Not even Yu knows.

Great? Isn't it?

I suddenly want to save this memory. I turn on the camera, it's dark so it couldn't capture anything but the sound of the rage wave is so loud and it's represent my heart so well.

What's the caption, goodbye, it should be it.

I posted it, and get the notification that the battery is low. Whatever, I don't need the phone anymore. I want to be alone. In this dark. With the sound of the raging wave. And the tears that finally fall.