Him || samYU

69. It's gonna be fine

Yu's pov.

What just happened? Sam's Dad said that he won't accept us. But not really because we're gay, but because he thought that I want Sam because of his money? What the hell is happening. I am seriously not ready for this.

This is wrong. This is all so wrong. I have prepared myself about the misjudgement relationship between two guys, not because our different life status. I mean.. why is it suddenly turn from bl drama into a cheap kind of soap drama?

"Yu.. Are you okay?" Sam asked me quietly.

He was shock too after he heard what his Dad said. And the first thing he thinks about is me. How could I not love this guy? I am seriously not after his money or everything. I just seriously love him as Sam.

Then why would his Dad has that kind of thought?

Is it because I don't have parents? Because I don't have money? And I work at a small coffee shop?

Damn it. It so much painful than he told me for being a gay.

I am not prepared with this.

"Yusuke." Sam called me again.

I'm still busy with my own thought that I forgot to answer him. But it's still kinda hard to smile right now. So I just staring at him, trying my best to smile even though I'm sure it's not my best smile.

"I'm sorry." Then he said quietly, caressing both of my cheeks gently as he always does.

He shouldn't do this. He should know that this act would always make me feel weak. It makes me want to cry and lean on him. And I hate him for this. But I love him too much to hate him.

I don't know. My head is a mess.

"No. I'm sorry.." Then I told him back. I don't know what I'm sorry for honestly. But I just want to say it to make him not feel guilty. It's not his fault.

Sam smiled softly. It looks a little forced, but he tried his best.

"Let's get out of the house first, Mom has told me to leave too on phone earlier." Then he said.

His mom said that?

"Should we go to your house? Or you want to go somewhere else?" He asked.

Will he leave the house for me?

"Or maybe you want to eat something first? You haven't eaten anything tonight.."

Will he leave everything for me?

"Yu?"

"No." Then I told him, and I can't hold my tears anymore. "I'll leave. You stay."

"What? No. No. No Yu. We'll leave together. You heard my Dad, he said I can leave the house if I want to stay with you. And I choose you. I want to stay with you."

"No.. Sammy.."

"Yu, listen to me. Listen, I don't care if anyone else ask me to leave you, I won't. I will never leave you. But please.. please don't tell me that you'll leave me.. please.." Sam hold my hand so tight. It does feel like he will never leave me, ever.

But who am I to let him leave his family for me?

"Let's get out from here first, hm? Let's go. Together. Yu.. please.." Sam kept talking to me softly, begging me as if he's about to break just if I refuse him. How could I refuse him.

But how could I let him choose me over his family?

"I don't want you leave everything for me, Sam.." I told him honestly, quietly, it's too painful to say it out loud, but I have to. I have to say it to Sam. "Please, don't choose me over your life."