Him || samYU

73. Guesses

Yu's pov.

"Yusuke."

Sam called my name in middle of silence.

We're on the side of the pool. Just the two of us. Others were already got in their room after the barbeque party. I guess they were all tired after all the commotion they caused by themselves. It really surprise me to see that everyone have the same kind energy. They were having so much fun.

Of course except Ray and Jack whose tired to control their partners instead.

But we were also the exception. Me and Sam. We were kept laughing at them, laughed with them, but somehow that was all. I knew that Sam wasn't really laugh. Because that's what I feel too.

"Are you happy?" Then Sam suddenly ask.

That was so sudden.

I just keep staring at him. Am I happy? I shouldn't have think too long for the answer. Yes, yes Sam, I am happy. As long as I am with you.. I should be happy. Or I could have just lied to him. 

But instead, I gave him a soft smile.

"You never good at lying, aren't you?" Sam said, smiling softly back at me.

I never good at lying. Especially with Sam.

Sam let out a long sigh. Then he looked up at the sky. It's really dark up there. There is no star at all, and the moon is hiding somewhere in the dark. It just all black.

"Should we stop this?" Then Sam muttered softly while his eyes still stuck up to the sky.

Stop what? Looking at the sky? I am looking up too. Even though I can't see anything.

But then I know that he's not talking about the sky.

"Let's break up." Then he said again.

I turned my head and looked at him. So that's what he mean with stop. Us..

What should I say now? I should have said no. No, I don't want to break up with you. But..

"You say nothing. That means you want it too." Sam said again, now is staring at me with his slight smile and the eyes that looked like he's been betrayed.

Wait. Is that really what I want? I don't even say anything. How could he say that?

But.. Sam knows me more, than me myself. He knows me the best

If he said so.. then maybe it is what I want.

Then what should I say now?

"Sorry.." Damn it Yu. Is this the best that you can say right now. But I can't seem to say another word. "I'm sorry, Sammy.." I told him again quietly.

And my tears just flow as usual at times like this. Damn these tears.

Why did I always look so weak every time I faced with Sam? It always me who cry like this.

"No.. Yu.. It's okay. It's not your fault.." Sam patted my back as usual.

But it's not his fault too. That's what I wanted to say. But as always too, my lips just couldn't work well with my mind. It's such a mess.

"I'm sorry.." Then Sam said quietly.

And that was the last words that he said to me. I don't really remember what happen next after that.

I remember that Sam took me to the room. He put me to sleep. But then, when I woke up this morning, he's not here.

The bed is cold, that means he didn't sleep here. Or he got up early. Or.. or what?