Moments / One Shots

Autistic Library

(A/n just to clarify I don't have severe or extreme autism or know much about it so I'm just writing from my knowledge of the condition as well as some experiences I've had or whatever it is so please don't get offended or anything if I do something wrong with the few chapter with this condition in them, thank you -Lara xoxo)

I could hear them all talk so I stay behind the wall by the door way listening "she's a mute, she doesn't talk and she doesn't know how to socialize, she isn't good for the team" I hear Tony's voice and I do talk but only when I wish to speak and if I think it's a good enough reason too but he hasn't been kind to me so I haven't spoken to him

"Tony, she's smarter them you think and possibly smarter then you" I hear Wanda's voice come into play as I lean against the wall listening to then talk as I know the whole team is in the lounge which I am outside of "bullshit, she can't even look at anyone in the eyes" Tony's tone didn't seem happy which makes me look down at the ground

"She's autistic, Tony obviously she isn't going to act like everyone else" Steve's tone was firm as he tries to stick up for me as I peek around the door frame making sure I don't get caught as I see all the avengers in the room but Bruce, Clint, Vision and Thor are staying quiet while the others bicker back and forth about me "low functing Autistism... Great just what the team needs" Tony throws his arms around as he speaks and I see Nat frown upon his words "she's quite the opposite actually, if you just give her a chance and learn what she can do you will understand that she is really a genius" Nat crosses her arms over her chest as she speaks and my eyes lower to the ground as Nat looks around the room as she speaks

"She's a mute and disabled!" Tony shouts with a pass aggressive voice making me flinch at his tone which makes Nat looks over at me seeing the movement and see me listening and her body language becomes softer and uncrossed her arms as Wanda sees me too after seeing what Nat is looking at and soon Steve notices me too but I go back behind the wall so no one else can see me "she's intelligent... And we can prove it" Wanda says as I hear her voice getting closer "y/n... Please come here" she speaks again and it takes me a second but in my own time I come out from behind the wall and in view of them all as I slowly walk over to her side

I see Nat walk over to Tony and grab something out of his shirt pocket as Wanda leads me further into the room as Nat walks over to us and sets something down on the table in front of me but I'm looking at the floor "y/n... How many dots are on this handkerchief?" Nat asks making me look up at her for a split second and then back down at the table and see a spotted black and white handkerchief but I only look at it for a second or two before looking back at the floor

"Wow... So impressive" Tony mocks as I mumble making Tony looks at me "did you say something?" He asks making me inhale and speak louder "57" I say so they can hear me as Wanda take hold of the handkerchief and hands it to Vision to count the dots "there are exactly 57 dots on this handkerchief" the red robot confirms that I am correct "so what it was a lucky guess" Tony says not believe in what is going on

"Steve go stand on the other side of the room and whisper something, autistic people tend to have sensitive hearing" Nat says so Steve walks over to the other side of the room and whispers something but I heard it so I repeat his word "Peggy" I say to Wanda so she looks over at Steve "did you say Peggy?" She asks and he nods meaning he did "okay so what if she can hear better then normal, she is still disabled and bad for the team" Tony says and this makes me frown and look up at Wanda but not I her eyes and she looks at me

'Why is he so mean?' I know she is listening to my thoughts that I put out there in the open for her to hear "he isn't very open minded that's why" I hear her say softly to me as Nat looks over at us so I look over towards her but not in her eyes "how about you can judge her when you're perfect Stark" Nat speaks firmly at Tony before walking over to me and Wanda and holds her hand out towards me and I'm not much of a physical person as if someone touches me without my permission I would other scream or just fall to the floor if they wouldn't stop touching me after three warnings but she is asking if I want to so I look at Wanda and see a little nod of encouragement so I look back at Nats hand and slowly take hold of it letting her pull me out of the room with Wanda following soon after not before I hear her say

"I'm disappointed in you" while looking at Tony before following me and Nat out of the room as Nat takes us to my favourite place, the library as here it is quiet and feels cozy as it has beanbags to sit on and they are huge... I love them they are my favourite seats in this whole place and that's where Nat takes us as she knows it's my favourite place besides my bedroom

The three of us sit down in a fitted silence that isn't awkward or uncomfortable but just fitted like we all know that words aren't needed in this moment but I can't help but to think back on what Tony said 'she doesn't know how to socialize, she isn't good for the team' 'low functing Autistism' 'She's a mute' but what gets me most of all... 'she is still disabled and bad for the team'

"Hey" I hear Wanda says as she is on my left and she hesitated but she takes hold of my hand and I let her as with these two when they touch me I don't mind as I feel like I almost crave their touches but I wouldn't dare to say that unless I'm comfortable with doing so "don't listen to what Tony said" Wanda says as Nat gets closer making me lift my head a little as she use her finger and thumb to lift my head so she can see my eyes and she knows I'm okay with her touching me as Wanda is touching me but you will know if I don't want anyone touching me but in this moment I kinda of like it "he doesn't know you like we do" Nat says making me feel a little better

I take my time as my eyes search around the room but get closer to her eyes and I think she started to notice what I am doing as we finally make eye contact as I speak "thank you" the mumble was heard by them both as her green grassy eyes widen at the eye contact but smiles proudly showing that she heard what I said so I look away from her as she moves her hand from under my chin to my cheek and strokes it with the pad of her thumb and I can sense she is going to move her hand away which I don't want her to do just yet so I lift my other hand and place it over hers keeping it there as I lean in her hand and I see Wanda tilt her head at this action but stays silent while watching still holding my other hand in hers

I hum lowly as my lip twitches up in a curve a little bit of a smile as I think "soft" I say meaning her hand which makes Nat smile at the small but sweet gestures I have made and said but I let go of her hand letting her pull it away from my face even if I don't want her too I don't want to make things awkward between us all "how about we read you a book?" Wanda suggest as they would normally take turns reading to me even if I wasn't listen to what they was saying I would love to just hear them speak so I can hear their voices as they are so relaxing to me so I agree and I don't care what book as I let them choose

I sit back relaxing as Wanda is reading to me and Nat who is on my right and I feel a little tired as I didn't get much sleep last night but for some reason I can't get comfortable and I see Nat looking at me with this look on her face as she can possibly see I can't get comfortable "come here" I hear Nats voice as Wanda pauses reading looking up from the book over at Nat and me as I look towards Nat who pat's the beanbag that she is sat on and I take a moment to realize that she is asking me to go over to her which makes me hesitate but do as she offered as she opens her arms a little gesturing for me to go into her hold if I wish and well... Not harm in trying right?

I get comfy before leaning down into her embrace which I see Wanda look over with shock written on her face but covers it up with a bright smile as I feel Nat wrap her arms around me as I lean into her feeling her warmth radiating off of her and onto me which makes me let out a little breath of content before laying my head down on her shoulder as she rest her chin on my head as Wanda then continue where she left off on the book and my eye slowly start to close listening to Wanda's soothing voice and Nats steady heart beat as my body relaxes from its usual tense form