Moments / One Shots

Schizophrenia

(A/n again I don't know much about this condition so I'm just writing to my knowledge so don't go thinking is will be correct about anything in anyway I just wanted to write something like this so be prepared and warned, this is also a longer story than what I normally write so grab a drink, snacks and get comfortable loves xoxo-Lara)

I haven't told the team about my illness and I don't want them to know but sometimes it's hard because I see things that aren't there and I hear them too and I can interact with them as well...

I don't like taking my medication because if I do... Almost everyone disappears like my mum and sister... I've been without them for a while year now and well... I don't want them to go so I have stopped taking my meds so I'm seeing a lot more then I should and it's difficult to tell who is real or not...

Sometimes I hear other things too like knocking at my door and voices that aren't there but I think Wanda and Natasha is getting suspension because of my behaviour and actions...

I don't know what to do so I'm in my room with my sister "you have to take your medication y/n" Lauren says but I shake my head "no I don't want to" I say to her as I'm sat on the end of my bed "why not?" She asks making me look up at her "why do you think?" I say and pause as we both just look at each other

"Y/n you have to let us go" she says and I shake my head again and then put it in my hands "no... I can't... I don't want to" I say as I sense her come closer to me so I look up still with my head in my hands "but you have to" she speaks as I see my vision become blurry due to tears forming "I... No... I won't" I say and stand up and turn so my back is facing her as she continues to tell me what I don't want to hear and soon mother joins in making it worse

"No... I said no! I don't want to!" I say breaking down collapsing to the floor in tears as they both crouch down to me "why?" They both asks as I rock back and forth bashing the side of my head with my hands as I do as this is something that I would usually do and I don't know why but it just happens "because if I take them you both disappear" I say finally looking up but I see another figure and I see Nat standing there in the door way with Wanda... I thought I closed my door... But now it's open... Was I seeing things again...

"Y/n?" Wanda says but I look away from them both as they walk over and my family back up so it's just me, Nat and Wanda on the floor while they let the two real woman help me "what's going on?" Nat asks and she crouches to my height with Wanda and Natasha grabs my hands stopping me from doing my actions of bashing my head and Wanda lift my head to look at them "talk to us" Wanda says as my tears fall down my face and she wipes them but I look at the floor

"Their not real" I say to myself but this only seems to confuse them both but I think Nat has a few thoughts on her mind "what's not real?" Nat asks but I start to shake my head no meaning I don't want to tell them but I know either way they are going to get it out of me "tell them y/n" mother says making me shake my head again "no" I say as I pull my hand out of Nats hold and shuffle backing up against my bed "y/n please" Lauren says desperately making me cover my face

"Y/n" Nat says and I feel them both sit on their side of me "their trying to help" mother says making me look at her "that's what they all say" I whisper but the two real woman heard my words and see me looking into the distance and see no one there but I do I see them both and they both come over "if you don't do it for us" mother says and pauses and then looks at Lauren so I move my eyes to her and she looks at me "do it for them..." Lauren says gesturing to Nat and Wanda

"Look at them y/n... Their worried for you" mother says making me look down as I can see it in their eyes "I... I can't" I say looking at the floor "yes, yes you can" Lauren says making me lift my eyes at her again "who are you talking to y/n?" Wanda asks but I don't look at them as I look at mother and Lauren "you can do this" they both say giving me supportive looks of encouragement and I take a breath