As Ready As I'll Ever Be

Chapter 99

~Brielle's POV~
We were all getting ready for the funeral today.
I was getting myself ready. I got my black boots on, a black dress, and a black jacket. My hair was straight and I was wearing a Necklace I had that had the letter C on it.

I went into Skylar's room to check on her.
She was ready, just laying on her bed, with her makeup on her bed, just staring at it.

"Hey honey... you ok?" I sat next to her.
She looked down at the makeup and shook her head.
"He loved helping me pick out shades... I can't bring myself to do it..." she cried.

I hugged her.
"You don't have to do your makeup if you don't want to..." I told her. She had a folded paper in her hand.
"Is that your speech?" I asked her.

She looked down at her hands and nodded.
"Part of me doesn't wanna go... but I wanna see him..." she cried.
"I know honey... I know this is hard..." I told her. She put her head under my chin and I kissed the top of her head.

She looked at her self in the mirror, and then sort of chuckled a little under her breath.
"What are you thinking about?" I smiled.
"I just um... I just thought of something that Cameron would tell me right now in this moment..." she said.

"What was it?" I asked her.
"He.. he um probably would've looked at me and been like, 'well at least your leg brace matches your outfit' I know for a fact he would've said something like that..." she said, she smiled at first, then it turned back into tears.

"Hey, it's ok... just think of those happy memories and all the fun times you had with him ok?" I hugged her.
I wiped her tears and she nodded her head.

We all got ready after about an hour, then we all drove to the church. We walked in. I helped Skylar because she was still in crutches, and her body was still in tremendous pain from the whole thing.

We walked in and we could see the open casket. Skylar turned away. She put her face in my chest and cried.
"You don't have to go now if you don't want to..." I told her.

~Skylar's POV~
I could see the open casket in the room. I turned away, a part of me didn't want to see him. I don't like open casket funerals. I feel like you're just torturing yourself, praying that the body will just wake up.
I cried into Ma's chest, while mom was with Maxx and Scarlett, Maxx was carrying Scarlett.

"You don't have to see him right now..." Ma told me. We were the first ones there. The priest came up to us.
He splashed was each with a bit of holy water and did the sign of the cross on each of us.

We all made our way to the casket. We were all crying. You could see they put makeup on Cameron's face, but I could still see all the bruises on him underneath the makeup.
I cried and held his ice-cold hand.

Then the funeral started.
"Today, we are here to acknowledge the death of Cameron Matthew Severide. He was an amazing Son, Grandson, nephew, friend, cousin, but most importantly, he was an amazing brother. A brother to his siblings, and a brother to just everyone. Let us all say a prayer for him." The priest said.

We all stood up and said the prayers.
"Ok, will his sister, Skylar please come up?" He asked.
My mom had to help me up.
Once I was at the mic, I looked at everyone and then at the piece of paper I had with my speech on it.

"Thank you all for coming... my brother was not only my brother, he was my twin, my other half, and my best friend. If you knew us, we were like glue, we always hung out, and we were inseparable... I know if he were hear right now.. he would probably make jokes with me, trying to coping with everything that has happened... that's who he was... he was a super silly guy.. I was the only person he really ever showed his true colors too..." I read. My voice was breaking with every word. I looked at everyone again, then kept on reading.

"Cam always told me these deep and meaningful quotes.. he was a huge English geek and loved telling me these... but this was will always be my favorite.. 'life isn't promised to us... we are blessed everyday by simply being able to rise in the morning....' I never knew how much that quote would mean to me until that one Friday... when our lives changed forever... Cam... I will miss you everyday... but... I hope you're having fun with Kayla... you can finally get to know our older sister that no one got to meet yet... save a spot for me up there... I'll be there someday... I promise... it's an honor to be your twin sister and I will continue watching scary movies every weekend. I will wear your hoodies, I will still continue to try and live my life... I love you... have fun up there..." I finished my speech. When I went back to my seat, I passed by his casket and kissed his forehead.
"I love you..." I whispered, and a tear fell on him, I wiped it off.

I sat back down at my seat, my mom put her arm around me and rubbed my shoulder. The funeral continued.

-2 days later-
It's been two days since the funeral. And I've learned something. A lot of people have told me that loosing a family member is hard, but I've heard that loosing a twin is harder. And they were right. I don't feel complete anymore. I feel like there is no point in living anymore.

The voices in my head are screaming. I can't shut them off. I can't get these thoughts out of my head.
I got up to use the bathroom. Cam and I shared a bathroom.

I looked through his stuff. I found some meds he had. Some pain killers, sleep aids. He used to have some problems with sleeping. Then I saw my medication on my side of the bathroom. I looked at all the bottles in front of me. A mix of painkillers, sleeping pills, hospital-grade drugs.

Sky... you don't wanna do this.. I heard a voice and realized it was Cam.
"Yes I do... I can't take this anymore.. I need you..." I whispered.
Please... stop... I heard his voice again.

I pushed the voice out of my head.
I looked at a photo that was of Ma, mom, Cam, Maxx, Scarlett, and I.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered. I opened all the bottles and downed all the pills inside each bottle, letting myself fall into a deep sleep on the bathroom floor, knowing that the next time I'll wake up, I'll finally be with Cam again. I won't be in pain anymore, and I'll finally have my best friend in my arms once again.

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