Living a normal life was now impossible to Lily after being kidnapped by the tatters. She was stolen off of the boat that was supposed to take her to England to study from the White Sea after visiting her family that lived in Egypt because of her fa...
"Stay with the children Rosie, I don't want them alone while Mahidevran and her son are roaming around the palace" I ordered. Rosie seemed hesitant to leave me while in labor but she did as told.
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"Almost there Sultana" I felt relieved to hear those words after fourteen hours of pain and misery. I couldn't wait to hold my new son or daughter in my arms. Mahidevran and Mustafa arrived a couple of days ago so Mustafa can take over the empire while Suleiman went to war.
Hatice and I have never been so close in our entire lives much to Mahidevran's horror. Since she came she has been stuck with Hatice trying to ruin our friendship but Hatice saw me sticking by her side during her vulnerability as a heroic thing and she has been loyal to me. Ibrahim decided to use the war as an escape and went before Hatice could make a decision about their relationship.
"Ya Allah" I took a deep breath and let out a scream as I pushed as hard as I can. Relief filled my body as the baby slipped out of my body. Silence filled the room causing me to feel panic.
I sat up and looked at the midwife holding the baby. The baby wasn't moving or making a sound. She laid him or her by my feet and rubbed his chest trying to make him cry or wake up.
"Give him to me" I ordered opening my arms. The midwife didn't hesitate to place the unconscious baby in my arms.
"Come on, wake up" I whispered rubbing my new son's chest. That didn't matter anymore to me, I just wanted him to wake up no matter the gender. The baby was as pale as possible and wouldn't make a sound.
"Wake up" I yelled holding the baby to my body. Sobs wrecked my body as minutes passed without a sound coming out of the baby. The doors to my room burst open to show a hug up Suleiman but his face fell when he found me sobbing on my bed with a motionless baby in my arms.
"Suleiman, he won't wake up" I sobbed holding a hand out to my husband. Suleiman walked over to the bed and sat down beside me. He looked down at the pale baby whose lips have turned blue.
"Give him to me" Suleiman opened his arms. I hesitated knowing that he will be taking him from me forever. I leaned down and placed a kiss on the baby's forehead. I felt my heart being ripped out as I placed the baby in Suleiman's arms. Suleiman stood up from the bed and let one of the midwives cover the baby in a blanket so no one would have to see him like this, dead.
"Son" I whispered covering my face. He won't even get a proper funeral being stillborn.
"Sultanim" Mal allowed herself to sit down beside me on the bed. She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me in for a hug as I sobbed. I wanted to yell and scream but the amount of sobs leaving my body forbade me from doing such a thing.
"Everything will be alright" Mal whispered in my ear. She was swaying back and forth trying to calm down. I hugged her as tightly as possible feeling like she was my only anchor to reality as the pain of birth and losing my son started taking over.
"Sultanim, Mahidevran Sultan, and Gülfem Hatun are outside your door," Mara said trying to earn my attention. I didn't acknowledge her and kept staring at the wall in front of me. I was imagining how my life would have changed with the new arrival but it was all snatched away from me. Who's fault was it? Mine? Maybe or maybe it was the fault of the midwife.
I stood up from the couch so fast and sudden the maids around me jumped. Some were caring for my children scattered around the room wearing black. I stormed out of the room much to the shock of Mahidevran and Gülfem who were standing outside my door waiting for me to let them in.
"Qamar" Gülfem called after me but I ignored her and continued making my way down the hallways. I could hear their feet running after me.
I stormed down the harem ignoring the maids eyeing me curiously and almost as if they were afraid. I stormed into the infirmary causing the doors to hit the walls as they slammed open. The midwives jumped from fear but bowed to me nonetheless. My eyes searched for the one I wanted and found her cowering in the corner.
"You!" I hissed walking closer to her. She tried getting away from me but the wall behind her prevented her from doing so.
"Sultanim i-I swear I didn't do anything" she stuttered eyes filled with panic. I raised my hands and wrapped them around her throat.
"I'm going to kill you like you killed my son" I hissed angrily. She choked as I tightened my grip even more. She tried prying my hands off but nothing worked.
"Qamar" Mahidevran called but with one glare from me, she took a step back afraid of me. Gülfem gulped and didn't even try to intervene. The midwife chocked and spluttered starting to turn blue from the lack of air. She fell to her knees forcing me to bend down to continue my revenge for what she did to my son.
Suddenly arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back against a muscular chest and away from the midwife. She fell on her hand coughing and taking in as much air as possible. I tried breaking out of the strong grip but there was no use.
"Calm down, Sultanim" the person holding me said. I stopped fighting against the grip and forced myself to calm down as the other midwives took the one I was choking and pulled her out of the room. I pulled away from the person holding me to find Mustafa standing with Mahidevran beside him looking like she was trying to pull him away from me.
"Why did you stop me?" I asked angrily glaring at Mustafa. He sighed shaking his head as if he was disappointed in me as if I was a child.
"This is not right. She will get punished for her crimes but this is not how it's going to happen" Mustafa answered calmly. I felt even more hate growing inside of me. I wanted to be the one to end her. I wanted to be the one to kill her.
"Qamar!" Hatice Sultan ran into the infirmary worry all over her face. I turned to face with angry tears streaming down my face. She ran over to me and hugged me tightly. I glared at Mustafa over her shoulder but he didn't even flinch or move his gaze from mine as if challenging me. I will be the one to kill that midwife and I will do it one way or another.
