Finding Her

Adapting

I look at my phone which I got back from evidence since I requested it.
"400 missed calls from Janey."
"200 missed calls from Korsak"
"300 missed calls from Frost"
The red blazer on the Lock Screen that I'm wearing hides the scars I put on myself.
Her arms embrace me and hold me tight.
Apart we are broken but together we are healed.
I check my photos and realise that Allen took the photos of me on my phone.
Jane walks in with two coffees and I drop the phone in shock.
"I'm sorry baby did I scare you?"
She puts the coffees down and picks up my phone.
"No, look at the recent photos!"
I say as tears fall rapidly down each cheek.
She flicks to the photos and then her face says it all.
She is shocked and a tear falls.
She turns the phone off and places it down.
She hugs me immediately.
"I'm so sorry this happened baby, I should've walked with you, I shouldn't have stayed at work. I should've been with you... I could've spared you everything you went through baby"
"Janey sh you're spiralling."
She takes a few deep breaths.
"I'm gonna be okay."
I tell myself.
The doctors take me for a scan to see if anything else is broken.
Nothing and my rib isn't actually fractured it's bruised.
"It felt like it was fractured"
I say as Jane wheels me around the hospital.
She smiles and runs her hand through my hair.
She takes me to the vending machine and I get a packet of crisps.
We go back to my room and then I eat the crisps and drink my coffee
When I'm finished that, Jane finally speaks
"You need to be seen by a rape counsellor baby"
"No it's fine."
I push it aside because I really don't wanna talk about it.
"You already have night terrors baby and I already know that you will definitely have them about what happened."
"I will talk to someone but not now."
She looks at me with sadness in her eyes
Tears start to fall
"I can't- I can't talk about it."
"Yes you can baby"
"I can but I don't want to."
"You can tell me what they did to you whenever you want."
"I'll tell you when I get discharged."
She nods
"There's no pressure baby"
She kisses me and I kiss her back.
We then spoon again
"Janey baby, when am I getting discharged?"
I question.
"Tomorrow"
She responds.
"Okay I can't wait to get home."
I suddenly remember the feeling of the white cloth being held over my face and I cry.
Jane has fallen asleep so I cry quietly to myself.