Finding Her

Effects

I wake up and I'm interrupted by a sudden wave of nausea.
I throw up onto my lap.
I'm disgusted so I throw up again.
Jane perks her head up
"Oh honey"
She quickly helps me to the toilet.
She removes the hospital gown off me and she runs the shower
I sob as she rinses me down.
She washes my hair as I sob.
She holds me as I shake.
"I'm- I'm carrying another human"
I cry
"Yes baby and that's the beautiful part of life"
I nod.
I stop crying and she gets me dressed into another hospital gown.
"You get to go home tonight honey"
"Yay!"
I make my way back to the bed unassisted.
Jane comes in after me
I sit back down and I go on my phone for a while
They do another ultrasound to make sure that there's nothing wrong.
"Everything is fine and your baby is developing great"
I nod happily.
Dr.Davis gives me the discharge forms so I sign them.
We get packed up and we go for a walk along the hospital.
I'm allowed to leave by 3pm
We get a taxi to our house.
I get home and I'm met by Angela.
Jane and I have decided not to tell people until I'm 12 weeks
"Hi Ang"
"Hey Maura, I heard you went to hospital again? What happened?"
"Oh I just had a fever"
She nods.
We go inside and I make tea for everyone
Jane feeds me dinner then I go to bed
I lie down and I rub my small bump
I eventually fall asleep
I feel his hands all over me.
I wake up panicked.
"I'm okay"
I tell Jane as she rubs my back.
"Sh I'm here"
She whispers.
I check the clock and it's only 11pm
I sigh.
I get up and I make myself a tea.
I let my robe trail behind me.
I sit down on the couch and turn on the tv.
Jane joins me.