Finding Her

Conversations

I wake up sobbing in Jane's arms
"Sh sh I'm here"
"I- I can't believe I'm pregnant!"
I sob
"Sh I know it's a shock honey"
I nod
I dry my eyes as she holds me.
"I'm okay now"
"Are you sure honey?"
"Yes baby. I'm gonna use the bathroom then we can get dressed?"
"Sure"
She responds as I head to the bathroom
I use the toilet then I flush it
I splash some water on my face.
I take a breath before going back in.
Jane and I both get dressed then we go downstairs.
She feeds me breakfast as I shake.
She places a hand on my bump to ground me
"Hey you're okay."
She comments
"It's just so hard!"
I start to cry.
"Sh sh I'm here honey, you're safe"
"I'm getting so fat and I hate it!"
"You're growing a baby honey, of course you're gonna put on weight it's natural"
"I- I don't want to put on weight?!"
"To grow babies, you have to. You have to nurture yourself and the babies."
She rubs my back as I nod and sob
We finish breakfast and I drink a cup of water.
"Do you want to stay at a hotel for a couple of nights baby. It'd be like a stay cation"
Jane questions
"Um okay"
We grab our bags that are packed and I take my pregnancy vitamin before leaving.
I cup my bump as we get into the car.
I stare out the window as she drives.
I try to push the flashbacks out of my mind just for a minute.
The drive is over an hour that the flashbacks are frequent.
I give my bump a rub to distract me.
I nod as Jane asks if I'm okay.
"I want to know everything Allen or your father has ever done to you."
She suddenly questions
"Nope uh uh"
I shake my head.
"Yes baby it'll do you some good to get it off your chest"
"How do you know that?!"
I yell.
"Baby calm down, take a second"
I take a breath.
She pulls up outside the hotel
"Is this the only reason you've brought me here?! To have me trapped and make me talk about stuff I don't particularly want to talk about!"
"No baby. I wanted to spend some time with you"
I sigh as she grabs our bags
She checks in and we take the elevator to the second floor.
I use the room key to get inside.
Jane follows with the bags.
I flop down onto the bed.
She puts them into the corner of the room
I sigh.
"Baby are you mad?"
"No but you could've approached this differently"
"I guess so. I'm sorry"
"It's okay. I love you"
"I love you more"
I kiss her and she kisses me back.
I watch as my bump moves.
"They're kicking"
Jane feels them
"What if I see him every time I look at them!"
"You won't baby. I'll remind you that they're ours and not his"
"Thanks baby"
We head downstairs for dinner and she feeds me
I can feel people looking at us but I try my best to ignore.
We head back upstairs at 6.
Jane and I sit down on the bed.
"What else did he do?"
"Allen?"
"Sure if that's who you want to talk about"
I nod and I take a breath as I turn to her
"He filmed everything, ya know?"
"Everything?"
"Yep. He had cameras everywhere so he could see what I was doing at all times."
"What would you do in the room honey?"
"I would- pace the floor, I would cry. I would bang on the door, I would mumble curse words to myself which got me in a lot of trouble with him. I would stare at the ceiling, I would try to take naps."
She nods.
"It's good that you're opening up baby"
"Yeah can I tell you about this one time?"
"Sure honey"
I take a deep breath and I get comfortable in the bed
I was crying in the bed when he came in enraged
"What do you think you're doing?!"
He yells
"Crying, what does it look like?!"
"How dare you have an attitude!"
He yanks me from the bed and he drops me onto the floor
"No no please!"
He starts to kick me in the ribs as I sob.
"Ouch! I'm sorry please just fucking stop!"
"Bad girl!"
He kicks me harder.
"Stop stop stop please?"
"Oh you want me to stop?!"
"Yes please- I'll do anything!"
"Anything?"
I nod as he stops kicking me.
He picks me up and he carries me into the living room.
"Sh be quiet!"
He yells as I am whining in pain
I nod
He takes me out to his car and he drugs me with the Chloroform.
I feel super groggy as he takes me to an unfamiliar place
"Where- where are we?"
"It's a strip club honey"
"Oh- oh?"
"You're going to dance for some people and maybe take your clothes off"
"What about the bruises?"
"They won't care. Most girls in here are abused"
"Um okay"
He takes me by the hand and I stumble.
He says a secret word and he's let in.
I follow behind him.
I see many women dancing on poles with bras and thongs.
Men smiling as women dance and serve them drinks.
"I- I don't like it here!"
I cry as he takes me into the dressing room.
"I don't give a shit now, undress and I'll show you what to do!"
Other women stare at me as I reveal the mountains of bruising and cuts.
I'm handed a bra and a thong.
Allen helps me to pull them on.
"You look beautiful"
He takes me out onto the floor.
He nudged the arm of a lad
"Hey do you want a lap dance from my girl?"
The man hands Allen €100.
"No no please sir don't make me do this"
He looks me dead in the eyes.
"Have fun"
"Of course come here sexy"
He pushes me onto him.
I cry as I'm forced onto his lap.
"Grind on me"
He demands.
I sob as I do so.
Allen watches
"Hey you better stop sobbing because I'm not getting my moneys worth!"
"Okay okay I'm so sorry sir!"
I stop crying and I continue to grind on his knee to the rhythm of the music.
"What's your name?"
I question as he gropes my tits.
"Connor"
"Maura"
"Nice to meet you Maura."
He exposes himself to me slightly and I attempt to get off his knee
"Uh Uh, let's go have some fun"
He grabs my wrist tightly as I whine
He drags me off as I sob and I try to drag my feet.
"Let me go!"
I cry.
"Allen- sir please help?!"
Allen grabs me.
"Hey you're going to have to pay me more if you're gonna fuck her brains out!"
"No! No!"
I whine as I shake.
"Okay here you go"
He hands him another hundred.
He throws me back onto the man
I cry as I get dragged off to a room in the back.
He shuts the door and he locks it.
"Okay darling let's have some fun"
"Stop, I don't want to!"
"I paid to have my way with you!"
He slowly unclasps my bra as I attempt to move away from him
"Ah ah Ah you stay here!"
He steps on my foot to hold me in place
"Ow!"
He continues applying more pressure as he takes the bra off.
"Drop your panties"
He orders.
"Please don't make me?"
"Drop them now or I will!"
"Okay okay fine!"
I drop them and he grins.
He touches me down there and I shake with desire.
I bite down on my lip.
He removes his boxers and now he's completely naked.
He bends me over.
I place my hands on the chair in front.
He inserts himself into my ass as I squeal and I hit the chair.
"No no! I'm tapping out stop!"
"The only thing that I'm tapping is your ass!"
He thrusts me back and forward as I wail in pain.
He slaps my ass a couple of times.
My ribs hurt so bad.
"Stop!"
I cry as he goes harder.
He stops and I think he's done but then he carries me over to the bed
He spreads me legs and then he forces himself inside.
I cry as he puts my legs onto his shoulders
He strikes me in the face really hard
"Ow No no I've had enough please!"
"You're able for more. You haven't even came yet"
"Stop!"
I cry
"Cum for me and then I'll stop"
"You promise?"
"Yep"
He goes harder and then I cum
I take a deep breath
"You can leave now"
He comments as he pulls his pants back up
I nod as I put my thong and bra back on and I hurry off.
Allen watches as I come back out with a sweaty face and blood running down my thigh.
I cry into his shirt.
"It hurts so bad!"
"Oh honey you have a bruise on your face."
He touches it and I wince.
"Come on let's get you home"
He picks me up and he carries me to the car
"Have the drugs worn off?"
"They did a long time ago"
"You've probably built up a tolerance."
I nod as he sets me down in the car
He puts my seatbelt on
I cry as I notice the blood that is staining my legs.
I start to whine.
"Hey at least I got some money so now I can buy you nice food and other nice stuff like lingerie"
"You're two hundred dollars richer but at what price for me huh?"
"I'll punish you when we get home"
"No no please?!"
He shakes his head.
"I'm sorry baby but I have to teach you a lesson"
"I've already been taught one tonight, please sir?! He gave it to me in both holes so I'm very very sorry please?!"
"No I'll give it to you in three"
"My- my mouth?!"
"Yes baby"
I whine as he gets me inside.
He forces me onto my knees and I'm forced to deep throat as he films it
He then puts me lying down on my stomach.
He gets me on all fours and he makes me arch my back.
I grab the pillow and I clench it as he gets inside.
I scream into the pillow as he thrusts me hard.
I cry in pain as he cums
I feel it dripping out of me
He flips me onto my back and he quickly grabs my legs and he spreads them
I wail in pain.
He forces himself inside with great force as I scream and try to push him away.
He grabs my hands and he puts them over my head
He goes faster after that.
"Stop please I beg you!"
"Oh you beg me?!"
"Yes sir please?!"
"Okay darling you've had enough. Just check out the damage."
I look down.
"I- I can't see?"
He hands me a mirror
"It- it looks deformed!"
"It's just bruised honey. Your cunt will feel better by next week"
"It hurts"
I whine as I close my legs
"It's bound to hurt baby"
He dressed me in my pjs and then he let me sleep
I look over at Jane who's completely silent.
"Oh my gosh honey, I'm so sorry"
"Connor- was just as rough as Allen was"
"Aw baby"
"I should've never went into the room"
"You had no choice baby"
"True. He made me go to that place multiple times."
"Oh honey"
We share an embrace.
"Baby can I ask you something?"
"Of course"
"I know I wasn't there for two weeks so how long was I really there for?"
"You- you were there for five weeks"
"So a month?!"
"Yes the rape counsellors said not to tell you that until you asked. We just said two weeks because you couldn't remember"
"Oh- I guess that's okay."
"You're not mad?"
"Nope. I understand why"
She nods and we cuddle.
We watch tv then I use the bathroom.
We then fall asleep in a cuddle