Finding Her

The Woods Incident

Jane wakes me up.
I stretch.
"Hey baby"
"Hi honey"
I respond.
"Can you tell me what happened in the woods?"
She suddenly asks.
I get out of bed quickly and I rush into the bathroom.
I gag then I regurgitate into the toilet bowl.
"Oh honey I'm sorry"
She holds up my hair and she circles my back with her palm
I heave until everything has came up.
I shuffle away from her and I back myself against the wall
She closes the door as I sob
Jane sits down in front of me
I wipe my mouth.
"Tell me about it baby. You can do this"
I put my head back exhausted.
"Can- can we take a bath? I can tell you then because it'll make me more relaxed"
"Of course baby"
She starts to run the bath
I stand up slowly with her assistance.
She slowly removes my clothes for me.
She removes hers then we stand there awkwardly waiting for the bath to fill.
She puts some bubble bath in it.
She lights a lavender candle.
She eases me into the bath then she gets in behind me.
I start to sob already.
"My dad would take me- on these road trips."
She nods her head.
"He took me on this particular day. All I remember about the actual date was that it was a sunny Monday. He had punished me already beforehand."
I take a deep breath.
"He took me to a woods."
Is all I manage to say.
"What did he do baby?"
I take a deep breath
"Dad where are we?"
I question as he holds my hand.
"We're in heaven baby"
He grins.
I realise that he's intending on hurting me again.
He tightens his grip on my arm as I try to pull away.
"Ah ah Ah baby you be grateful that you're out of the house"
"Why are we here?!"
"I have a secret cabin here and I'm gonna lock you in it"
He smiles as I scream.
"In this woods no one can hear you scream"
I continue to scream
He has a knife held up to me as we walk to the cabin.
I'm shaking slightly.
"I- I remember the look he had in his eyes. A sadistic stare."
Jane sniffles slightly.
I can see tears in her eyes.
"Long story short he hurt me badly in that shed over the course of a few days"
Jane turns me slightly to her
"You should've never been through that baby. I'm so sorry honey"
I remember him standing there holding the knife
I instinctively grab her
She seems shocked at the sudden tense contact.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
I keep repeating.
"No you didn't do anything wrong baby."
I sob into her bare chest.
"I- I did! I touched you and that was bad - I'm sorry! I should've asked! I'm so fucking stupid and needy!"
I cry my eyes out as I begin to hit myself I'm the head.
Jane grabs my wrists and she holds them.
"Baby baby Sh sh you weren't bad!"
"I- I was!"
She shakes her head
She helps me out of the bath
She gets me dried off.
I sob as she helps me into a clean pair of pjs.
She slowly lies me down into the bed.
She rubs my back as I sob.
"Baby we're gonna stay at home today and rest"
I nod
I cry myself to sleep as Jane makes herself breakfast.