Finding Her

Road Trip

I cry my eyes out as my dad had locked me in my room all night
I couldn't sneak out because he said that he would be watching.
He wakes me up at 6 by hitting me awake
"Dad?"
"Yes honey, get up and get dressed. I've decided to take you to a convention cause you're always complaining about being here alone"
"Road trip?"
"A long one so be prepared. Pack your bag"
"Okay thanks dad"
I get up and I stare at him as he sits down
"Are you gonna watch me?!"
"Of course I am baby"
I sigh.
I remove my long pyjama shirt.
"You should sleep naked. It would be easier to get in baby"
Tears fall
I quickly put on a black bra.
He does up the back for me.
"You shouldn't be wearing them"
"I- I need to because you can see my nips in shirts that I wear"
"Fine"
I pull on a thong much to his disgust.
I readjust it once I've pulled on my blue jeans
I put on a white shirt.
I quickly pack a bag full of drugs, clothes and alcohol.
"I'm ready"
I say.
He hands me my phone.
"You can have it in the car but you're handing it back straight away"
"Oh okay thank you"
I smile trying not to anger him
I walk into the driveway and my dad slaps my arse harshly.
I wince slightly.
He starts to drive.
I look out the window and I smile.
I let my hair blow in the wind
I text Lucky to tell him that I'm going to my dads convention
He tells me to make sure that I'm safe.
I can't guarantee that.
I get my pillow from the backseat and I rest my head.
My dad slowly puts his hand onto my thigh.
I push it off.
He's unimpressed.
He quickly opens my glove compartment.
There is a pair of handcuffs.
He quickly puts them on me.
I sob.
He starts to speed up.
"Dad- you're scaring me? Stop!"
He smiles sadistically at me
"You deserve to be scared you fat worthless piece of shit"
I cry rapidly at that comment
I sit with my hands in my lap since they're cuffed.
I cry my eyes out.
My dad looks at me
"you know I didn't mean that right"
"You meant it"
He slaps me.
I sit there shocked.
A couple of hours later.
I sigh.
"What's up with you?"
My dad exclaims.
"Dad- I need the bathroom"
"We just passed a gas station!"
"I- I know but I didn't need to go then?"
He slaps me and then he punches me in my head.
I scream and cry.
"Dad please...can you pull over? I need to pee"
"No hold it Maura"
I sigh.
By the time we get to the hotel, I'm desperate and shaking
I rush off to go find the room.
I unlock it as my hand shakes
I get inside and I use the bathroom
I shuffle my pants down since I'm still handcuffed.
I sigh with relief as I let go.
My dad follows and he stares at me.
"Jesus Christ"
He mutters to himself.
I sigh.
He pulls up my pants when I'm finished.
I wash my hands.
I sit down on the double bed
"I- want to sleep in that bed"
I cry as I look at the single bed.
"No we're going to share this one!"
"Okay please- I'm sorry!"
His fists clench then he hits me.
I cry.
"Can you take these off? It's starting to hurt"
"Yep"
He takes them off and I smile.
He smiles back.
"My conventions tomorrow morning and now you'll get to see your daddy at work."
"Oh nice. What do you do?"
"You'll see"
I nod slightly.
I cry as he puts my legs aside.
He yanks my trousers down.
He rapes me as I sob and become submissive.
I let him finish then I get into my pyjamas.
"What- the fuck are you doing?!"
"I'm going to go to bed early"
"Nope! You're coming downstairs for dinner!"
"No I'm not? I'm going to sleep"
He grabs my wrist.
"Do you want me to sprain it again?!"
"No! No please?"
"Then listen to what daddy says"
The word daddy makes me turn cold and I shiver.
He makes me put on a black dress with a slit in the thigh.
He makes me wear makeup to look older than I am.
I'm shaking due to withdrawals.
I quickly take a drag while I'm in the bathroom fixing myself up.
I spray some perfume on to hide the stench of ash and smoke
"Ready darling?"
My dad smiles as he takes my arm.
I nod.
We head downstairs.
He orders us a table
He gets me a beer and I down it
"Go easy baby"
"S-sorry"
Tears fall as our food comes.
He forces me to eat pasta.
A fear food of mine
I spent the night regurgitating.
I wake up to him slapping me
"Wear your dress from last night"
"Alright"
I hurriedly pull on the dress and a black thong.
We quickly leave and go to the lounge.
There's the cab waiting for us.
I get in and my dad gives me water
"This- this tastes funny"
I pull a face.
"Oh really?"
I feel myself become dizzy then I pass out.
I wake up and I'm lying down.
There's men all around me.
I scream as one of them rips my dress off.
It was my favourite dress
I cry as they all have their way with me.
My dad sits and watches
"This is what I do Maura. I pimp girls out"
"You're disgusting?!"
He grabs my face and he rapes me at the same time as another guy.
It hurts so bad that I scream.
I'm left bleeding afterwards.
My dad quickly sticks a pad onto my normal underwear and he forces me to put it on
"My- my everything hurts!"
I exclaim as he helps me up.
"I know baby. I'm sorry but you asked for it. I am a doctor but I also have a side business"
I cry as he helps me into the cab.
"Did- did you drug me?!"
I question as I see the blood appear on my jeans
"Yeah."
I cry even harder.
We get back to the hotel and I'm broken
I'm shaking and still bleeding.
I lie down on the sheets and I clutch my stomach
"I- I don't feel well"
My dad touches my forehead
"You're very warm"
"I feel so sick"
He picks me up and he rushes me to hospital
"I found her bleeding in an alleyway. She's my daughter, she was missing"
"Oh okay. Get her into the gurney."
They examine me and turns out I had a tear.
"She was violently raped"
The doctor announces to my dad
"Oh my gosh my poor baby"
"Dad- I'm not your baby"
"You're right"
He comments.
I get some medication then I get stitches
I'm in so much pain and I squeal.
My dad grabs my hand.
I squeeze and squirm.
I wake up crying hysterically.
Jane wakes up.
I sob as I realise that I'm still in the hospital.
"I'm sorry"
I say instinctively as I continue crying hiding my face from her
"Sh sh it's not your fault baby"
"It is? Why can't you understand that I was begging for it?"
"You weren't baby. You were terrified"
"My father- was so cold! He told me that I asked for it so I believe him! Everything he said was true!"
"Baby you can't keep believing his lies"
"I- I was gang raped by him and his buddies. T-they all blamed me"
She stares at me shocked
"I'm so sorry baby. Baby look at me, it was never your fault"
"I had to go to the hospital. I- had a tear"
I sob into her arms.
"Oh honey"
I shake as she rubs my back.
"I did so much drugs...I always rebelled so it was my fault!"
"Sh sh"
I cry as she rubs my back.
I calm down and I take a breath.
Sandy appeared.
"You're free to go home"
She smiles
"Yay!"
I smile.
I get my cannulas taken out then Jane drives me home.
"Do you want to go straight to bed baby?"
I nod quickly
"Okay"
She helps me to get into my pyjamas then we go to sleep.