Finding Her

36

"Tell me- you love me!"
He shrieks as he rams into me
"I- love you"
I fell my face become flaming hot with embarrassment.
I wake up in a cold sweat and Jane helps me to breathe.
"In and out"
She repeats.
I calm down and she pulls on my sweater for me since I can't lift my arms about my head
I yank up my jeans quickly and I do the buttons up.
I sit on the couch as Jane eats her breakfast.
"Baby come join me."
I sit at the table and lightly smile.
"Do you want anything to eat?"
I shake my head.
"Please try and eat something baby?"
I make myself some avocado and toast.
She smiles as I eat it.
I put the plate into the dishwasher and I lie down on the couch.
I feel so tired and I've only woken up.
I fiddle with the bracelets on my arms
Jane notices and comes over to me
"Baby, are you having the urges?"
I nod and I break down.
"Oh honey, I'm glad you told me"
She hugs me as I grip to her shirt.
She rocks me for a while before I calm down.
She lets me go and I go for a small walk in town with her by my side.
"Can we please get a coffee?"
I question.
"Of course baby"
I order my favourite coffee and get it to go.
We walk home and I grab her hand suddenly
"Something feels wrong baby"
"Baby you're safe"
I continue walking and I push my feelings down.
I immediately lock the door when we get home.
Jane eats dinner but I refuse.
We lie down and I fall asleep.