Finding Her

Dream 2

He sits down next to me whilst I'm lying on the couch recovering from him fingering me aggressively.
"You know that it's your fault baby"
"I- I know"
He wraps his arms around my small waist
"You're so skinny. I can see your ribs"
"Dad- stop commenting about my body!"
I cry as I attempt to pull myself up off the couch.
"No stay here baby girl"
"Dad- stop it!"
He pulls me back onto the couch and he forces me to lie down.
I cry my eyes out as he rapes me.
My mother appears
"Arthur please- Stop- stop it. She needs air?!"
He notices that he's been crushing me.
I get up from underneath him and I regurgitate into the sink.
I go outside from some fresh air.
My mom and dad yell at each other
"Constance- I couldn't stop myself"
"ALBERT- HOW COULD YOU?!"
"It's that manly urge? I'm showing her that I love her"
She runs away and she slams the door after her.
I notice that she's taken the suitcase and the car with her.
I rush up the stairs as my dad follows.
"Maura- my sweet girl I'm so sorry!"
He comments as he grabs me by my sweater
"LET GO!"
I sob.
He lets go.
I rush into my room and I grab my pillow
I sob and scream into it.
My dad comes in.
"NO! NOT AGAIN?!"
I sob
"Sh sh I'm not gonna hurt you"
I side eye him.
He smiles.
He holds me as I sob.
I cry into his chest.
He lifts me onto his lap.
I cling to him since his form of affection is hurting me.
He lets me cry for once which is great.
I get off him and I use the bathroom.
I come back and I get into the bed
He rapes me once again because "he couldn't control himself"
I stare at the wall until he leaves
I make sure that he's asleep then I sneak out.
The stairs are too creaky to go down.
I rush out of my window.
I slide slowly
I'm so scared.
I brought a little backpack with me.
It hides my drugs and alcohol
Lucky meets me a little down my road.
"He- he's just done it again"
I comment as Lucky had asked me why I was shaking
"Oh my poor baby"
He kisses me and he lets me cry.
We head to the beach.
It's closed so we go to the park which is the next best thing.
We make out and we both sip from the whiskey I had stolen from my dads cupboard.
"Aren't you- going to get in trouble?"
"Probably but it's worth it."
He grins.
I quickly unbutton his pants and I slide my down.
I get him on top of me.
He starts to have sex with me.
I grin at the pleasure I'm feeling instead of pain.
My dad always causes pain but Lucky always knows what to do
He whispers reassuring words into my ear
"You're doing great baby"
I nod as he thrusts himself further inside.
My breathing becomes erratic so I take a drag
Soon enough he cums.
He gets off of me immediately.
I smile at him.
I get the munchies so he takes me to the chipper
"Your dad wouldn't like that your here at this time"
"Oh shut up Fildema I don't even fucking care , just a portion of chips with extra vinegar please!"
She sighs.
We're going to share the chips.
She writes out order down
We get a booth.
He smiles at me from across the table.
I smile back
I lean over the table and kiss him then I regain my original position.
"Oh baby you're so wasted"
He comments as my hands shake when I pick up the water jug.
I sigh.
I pour myself a drink and I drink it.
Our food comes and we eat.
A little while later, I'm still so high and I'm laughing at everything.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom"
I say as I calm down.
"Okay be careful. Take your phone and call me if you need any help."
I nod slightly.
I grab my phone from my little bag
I head in and I pull my jeans down.
I go and then I yawn.
I check the time
3:20am
My dad is up by 6 so I still have time.
I can sneak back in at 5:30.
I make myself throw up the food that I had consumed.
I attempt to open the door but it won't.
I try and I end up sobbing once I can't get out
I bang on the door
No response
I quickly grab my phone.
I speed dial Lucky.
"Hey baby what's up?"
"I-I can't breathe?!"
I sob.
"Why baby? What's happened? Deep breaths honey"
"I-I''m locked in and I can't- can't get out!"
He tells me that he'll be right there.
He gets Fildema to give him the keys.
He opens it rapidly and I grab him.
He grabs me and I sob into his shirt.
He sways me slightly as I tremble.
"Baby have you been sick?"
He cups my face as I nod.
"Oh honey"
"I- I was so scared baby"
I cry to him
"Sh sh I'm here now. I think I should get you home early baby."
"No- NO I want to stay with you!"
I whine like a child as I cling to him.
"Sh okay baby- calm yourself down- you're yelling!"
"Okay- I'm so sorry! Please don't leave?!"
"I'm never gonna leave you baby"
He gets me to sit down outside as he grabs me a coke to drink.
I drink it and I smile
"I love you so much baby. You understand me"
"I love you more"
We walk back to my house linking arms
I kiss him at my door.
I go over to the pipe that I climb up.
My dad opens it just as I'm about to climb up to get inside.
"Get your ass in here now?!"
He pulls me in by my shirt and I get pulled down to the floor.
He drags me inside.
"Explain where you were?!"
"I- I want mom!"
"Nope! Your mom is at a conference and you need to be punished by me."
I whine like a child.
I throw a tantrum.
I get on the floor
I kick and scream
"You're not five Maura! Get up?"
I take a deep breath and I pry myself up.
"I- I went out"
"At this time?!"
He sniffs me
"You're so drunk"
"What?! No-"
"I can see the vodka bottle hanging out of your pocket!"
I look down to se that it is
"I- it's not mine"
"No shit"
He takes it out of my pocket and throws it aside.
It breaks.
I flinch and I sob.
"Fildema called me"
He says as he puts his arm onto my shoulder
"She did?"
I question as I gulp.
"Uh huh and you were in enough trouble as it was but now that I know about your behaviour- you're gonna get hurt"
"No- no no no please?"
"Shut up darling and go to your room, I'll be up in a second. I just need to grab the belt"
"No- no please?!"
"I'm getting the belt"
He responds plainly.
I rush up the stairs.
I sob in my room as I sit on the bed knees to my chest.
I'm awaiting pain.
"I know that you stole my whiskey"
He yells as he appears
"I'm sorry!"
He sits down next to me
"I'm gonna take it slow baby, I'm gonna tease you"
"Please just get it over with"
"Nope you don't get to dictate what I do"
He slowly circles my nipple.
"You're already getting hard and you have a shirt on"
He drinks as he slowly removes my t-shirt
Tears fall as he suddenly cups them.
He puts his mouth onto it and I push him off.
"That's- disgusting"
"I know but I like it"
He bites down and I wail in pain.
He finally lets go after leaving a ring shaped bite mark.
I rub it since it's so sore.
He forces me down
He unbuttons my jeans and he pulls my panties down.
He ties my hands with my panties.
He spreads me legs and puts them onto his shoulder as he starts to rape me
I sob.
He finishes and he pulls out.
He then flips me over quickly.
He grabs the belt and he hits me with it
I sob in pain.
He beats me with it again and again.
I scream at him to stop
He puts his hands up.
I instantly stand.
"Ow ow ow"
I exclaim as i waddle off.
"Baby! Come back here"
He follows me
"Get away!"
I scream.
"Nope you're gonna feel the hangover soon so I'm gonna take care of you"
I shake my head as he nods
I stop walking away as I realise there's nowhere to go.
I sob as I hug myself.
He comes up behind me.
He wraps me in his big arms.
My cheeks are red raw and they hurt so bad as he carries me back upstairs.
I sob as he sits me into my white chair.
He helps me to get into my pyjamas but not before fingering me
I cum quickly and he smiles with great delight.
He stands me up and he pulls up my pyjama pants.
I cry as the hotness of the material against the bruises.
"Sh it's okay"
He quickly gets me fully dressed
He gets me a basin so I can throw up when I need to.
I get into my bed and he gets behind me.
He cuddles me and I sob harshly into his chest.
"Oh baby, I didn't know you were hurting this badly"
"WHY DO YOU THINK I DO DRUGS DAD?!"
He slaps me.
I take a second then I lean over the bed
I throw up into the basin.
He holds my hair up.
"You're okay, you're okay?!"
He keeps repeating as I keep regurgitating
I pull myself back up.
I take a sip of water and I chew some gum.
I fall asleep.
I wake up to my dad beating me hard
"OW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"BEATING YOU?! I SAW THE MESSAGES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND! YOU'RE STILL SEEING HIM?"
I'm speechless.
He continues to beat me
"YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO SNOOP ON MY PHONE?"
I cry
"It is? I paid for that phone"
I cry my eyes as he snatches it from me.
He quickly locks it in the safe then he comes back.
He beats me up.
I have bruises all over me the next day.
He looks at me with a sad expression as I come down the stairs clutching my rib and groaning in pain.
"I- I'm so sorry baby"
I cry and I collapse into his arms.
I wake up to my dad putting a damp cloth to my face and Jennifer sitting at my bedside.
"What- what happened?"
"You fainted honey"
I sigh as I put my head back down
"Where am I?"
I question
"You're still at home"
"Oh- oh okay."
I sigh with relief.
I look up at my dad who's smiling.
I smile back at him.
"Don't you think for a second that I forgive you for what you do this morning"
I nod as tears escape
Jennifer monitors me for a couple of hours then she heads home.
My dad instantly shows me affection.
I cry as he rubs up against me
My face hurts so badly and I sob as he watches.
I'm black and blue.
He still decided to rape me.
I scream as I wake
Jane comes in.
"Hey hey sh baby, you're okay"
I'm shaking and sobbing.
"It was terrible nightmare!"
I cry to her.
"Oh honey- can you tell me what it was about?"
I tell her the whole nightmare.
She looks at me with tears in her eyes.
"Oh honey- that must've been horrible for you. I'm so sorry honey."
I nod.
She holds me in her arms as I sob.
"Come on, let's get you out of bed"
She takes me into the living room and sits me down onto the couch.
She turns on the tv.
We sit together and watch some stuff .
"He- he was so violent and he- wouldn't stop"
"Oh baby come here"
She takes me into her lap.
She cradled me.
Like my mother never did.
I sob as I cling to her
I hide my face in her chest.
"Baby sh you're gonna have to have a session with Sandy. Would you like one tomorrow?"
I hesitate
"Y-yes"
I cry as I nod.
"Okay I'll get her to come here because I know that you don't feel comfortable going out just yet"
I nod.
She strokes my face as I cry.
She kisses my forehead.
I feel comfortable in her arms as she gives Sandy a call.
She organises the appointment.
"Let's get you to bed baby"
"Okay"
I smile lightly.
She carries me to the bedroom.
"You're still shaking baby"
"I- I know"
I cry
She quickly gets me dressed into pyjamas
I lie down
"Wake me if you have a nightmare baby."
"Okay- I will"
"Good. Love you"
"Love you more"
I kiss her then I roll over
She spoons me until I fall asleep safe in her arms.