Finding Her

Hurt

I wake up in the same bed as my dad.
He grabs my ass
I want to scream but I know that my mom won't do anything.
I attempt to slip out of bed but he pulls me back in forcefully.
I turn my body around to him.
"Turn back round Maura baby"
"get out of my bed!"
I finally have the courage to stand up to him.
"You don't get to tell me what to do...you're only a child!"
He swiftly gets it in my ass and I scream in
pain and protest
"No no stop! Stop?!"
He grabs my throat.
"Stop crying."
It makes me cry more
He pulls out then decides for round 2.
He gets on top of me and he pulls me close.
"You're asking for it!"
He forces himself inside of me.
When he's finished, he pulls up my little purple underwear and my little pony pyjamas.
He then slips back into bed with my mother and leaves me to wipe the blood off.
I was only 8...
It caused me immense pain getting out of bed after that night.
I rolled out of the bed and in between my legs is unbearable.
I slowly walk into the kitchen
I wake up with a start and Jane is on her phone.
"Hey baby. Are you alright?"
"Yeah just- a bad dream"
"You mean a nightmare baby?"
"I suppose you're right baby"
I say as tears appear.
She comes close to me and she hugs me.
"I can't even imagine the pain you went through baby...you're so strong"
"Thanks baby"
I kiss her and she kisses me back.
"Um baby, can- can we reschedule the session?"
"Why baby?"
"I don't feel up to it."
"Okay let's go find Sandy"
She takes my hand and we look for Sandy.
She's in her office.
"Oh hello Maura and Jane"
She smiles.
"Hi Sandy"
"Are you okay?"
She questions
"Um not really."
I fiddle with my thumbs as we take a seat.
"I- I don't think I'm able to do a session tonight...I'm sorry"
"That's okay we can reschedule for tomorrow night?"
I nod.
"Okay that's good...can I ask why you don't feel up to it?"
"I- I've had bad nightmares and I don't feel like I can talk about anything at the moment"
"Okay, have a good night guys"
"Thanks You too."
We comment at the same time
We get dinner and I don't eat.
I go straight to bed and fall asleep quickly.