Finding Her

Intervention

I walk into the house after bunking off school.
I've shot up and I'm pissed out of my mind.
My makeup has smudged
I smile and I hang my coat up.
I stumble around and I sh the lampshade that I banged off.
My mom, Jennifer and my dad are all sitting in the living room.
They stare at me with disapproving eyes
"What- what are you doing here?!"
I hiccup mid sentence.
"Take a seat"
I shake my head as I walk past them.
My dad grabs my arm and takes me back inside
"Oh so is this an intervention?!"
I screech as he throws me down.
"It's a family session"
"I'm not in the mood to deal with this"
"I can see that. Are you high?"
Jennifer questions
"I'm completely high and completely pissed"
I laugh and then my dad hits me.
I stop laughing and I raise my shoulders
I feel very unsafe right now.
I feel like a child.
My hands are shaking.
"How have you been doing Maura?"
I roll my eyes
"I saw that. I'll do you later!"
My dad yells
"No no please- I'll answer the question! I'm okay?"
"You don't sound okay, I think you're trying to convince yourself"
"Maybe I am?!"
I rest my head onto my mothers shoulder but she pushes me off with a annoyed look splashed all over her face.
Tears escape quickly from my eyes.
I feel so rejected.
"What's your boyfriends name?!"
My dad asks.
"I'm not telling you?!"
"I'll have to beat it out of you"
I sob as he flings me to the floor
Jennifer looks shocked
"Dr.Isles?! Stop it, she doesn't deserve that."
"PLEASE DAD! STop!"
I cry as he yanks down my shorts.
He teases me
"Oh nobody would want you except me because of your scars!"
I sob as he beats me up whilst raping me
I let the blood soak onto the carpet as he pulls out.
He slaps me around and my face is bleeding
I know that he won't hurt a pregnant woman so I put myself into Jennifer arms.
She cradled me on the edge of her seat.
The blood leaks onto her pants
"I'm so sorry!"
I sob
"Sh sh sweetie it's okay"
She keeps a hold of me.
"I think it would be best if I monitor Maura for a little while so maybe I will take her to live with me."
"You can't just take my child from me?"
"Well it's not like you take proper care of her."
She remarks.
I stare at her and shake my head.
She grabs me by the hand.
"Do you want to come with me?"
I nod my head rapidly.
"It'll only be for a couple of weeks Dr.Isles."
She leads me to her car and she helps me inside
"You can't survive in that house."
She comments.
"How do you know?"
"You're anorexic sweetie and you're very ill"
"But that's my own fault?"
"It's not. It's your fathers and mothers"
I nod slightly as she drives away.
I walk inside her home clutching my bag full of drugs and the little teddy that I love.
She takes me into her arms
"You're safe with me."
"You won't hurt me?"
"Of course not"
She smiles as she rubs her hands through my hair
She gives me a tour of her house.
I see her future baby's nursery.
She gives me a toy.
"You can keep it"
"Are you sure?"
I question as I feel it's soft ears
"Of course honey. What's mine is yours"
I smile lightly.
She shows me her room then she shows me mine.
I hesitate before speaking
"Can I- sleep in your bed?"
She smiles slightly
"Can you tell me why you want to do that?"
"I have- nightmares and I want to make sure that I'm safe"
"Of course you can darling"
I hug her
"You're so nice to me and I treat you like shit"
"You're struggling honey."
I nod as I break down in her arms.
"I'm gonna go to bed now honey. Would you like to come with me?"
I nod as I clutch the teddy she gave me
"Seems like you're already attached to the teddy honey"
She smiles as she unbuttons her shirt.
It reveals her tank top.
And a million scars that litter her skin.
I look down since I had never seen someone with skin like mine.
I nod slightly.
I realise that I have no clothes with me
"I- I don't have any clothes"
She hands me a pair of her pyjamas.
They look so large on me
I put them on quickly
It's awkward because we're getting dressed together
She helps me to get comfortable by propping herself up so that I can cuddle her.
She lets me feel her bump
I smile slightly.
A week later and we're still doing the same routine.
There's a knock on the door later at night.
I have the teddy in my hand since I'm getting ready for bed.
I hear a thud.
"Jen?"
I call out.
No answer
I go to the front door
My dad is standing there and Jen is on the floor with her neck sliced
She's barley breathing and she's choking
"You're gonna be okay."
I tell her as I apply pressure.
She shakes her head
I nod my head
"I'm gonna get you help."
My dad shakes his head as her eyes roll back
"YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU JUST KILLED HER!"
"Yep and now you're gonna be mine again"
He grabs my hand.
His gloves make a squeak noise.
"No! Please?"
I sob as he throws me into the car.
He gets me into the backseat.
"I can't wait to punish you!"
He pulls off my shorts and he forces himself inside
"Ow!"
I scream.
I wake up with a fright
I decide to tell Jane.
"Janey- Janey wake up?"
"Huh?"
She turns to me and she instantly holds me.
"Oh honey...what's happened?"
"Really- bad nightmare"
"I'm so sorry baby"
I sob as I tell her the whole thing.
"That's why you said that you weren't well that town that Jennifer's case came up at work. You were a witness. The day you were kidnapped by Allen- that's why you left early"
"That's why I was so annoyed when I left."
I continue to sob.
"Oh honey I'm so sorry. No wonder you started to act weird when her case was mentioned"
"I- I hadn't heard her name in years and when it resurfaced, all the family sessions and how she tried to help me came back to haunt me"
"Oh honey."
She rubs my back as I try to calm down.
"I can't go back to sleep"
"That's okay. Let's get dressed"
I nod slightly as I pull myself out of bed
She helps me to get dressed into a lovely black dress
"T-thanks baby"
I'm still in shock from that nightmare.
We head out into town.
I get Jane to order for me.
I fiddle with my thumbs as I zone out
Jane nudges me.
I take my coffee as my hand shakes
I nearly drop it and it gives me a little scare.
I sit down in the little booth.
Jane gets hers and she sits in front of me.
She smiles lightly
"You're so brave baby."
She comments
"Thanks honey"
We go for a walk and then I break down as soon as we get home
"Oh honey. Do you want me to run you a nice hot bath?"
"Y-Yes please"
She nods.
She helps me upstairs.
"I- I think I'm shock"
I randomly tell her
"Seems like it baby. It was a very hard thing to tell me and it probably has made everything feel so fresh in your mind"
I nod
"That's exactly how I feel"
Tears fall
She rubs the bath and puts some soothing bubble bath
"Okay I'm going to start getting you undressed"
"O-okay"
I nod.
She slowly helps me to remove my shirt
"How does your rib feel?"
"It doesn't hurt anymore"
"It must've healed baby"
I nod as I press on it
"No pain yay"
She smiles.
She unbuttons my jeans for me.
She slides them down
"Do you want to pull down your panties baby?"
"I- I can't"
I want to do it myself but I just can't.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm- I'm shaking baby and I- I just can't"
"Okay it's okay baby"
She does it for me
It feels weird because she maintains eye contact with me.
She slowly eases me into the bath.
She undressed herself after closing the curtains and the door
Tears fall as she gets in behind me.
"I'm so glad that you're my girlfriend baby"
I tell her
"I love you so much"
I also tell her
"I love you more baby"
She caresses me as I smile.
"Do you want me to pleasure you? I feel that you're left sexually unfulfilled because of me being reluctant?"
"No no baby it's completely fine."
"A-are you sure? You always look like you want me to touch you?"
"You are touching me baby? It's okay"
I smile slightly.
I rest my hand on her boob and she looks down at me.
She lathers some body wash onto me then she rinses it off.
She helps me out and she helps me to get dry.
Tears fall as she dries my hair
"I feel like you do everything for me. I mean you have to feed me because I can't do it my fucking self?!"
"Sh sh I don't mind baby. I'm helping because I love you"
"I love you more"
I cry as I get into bed.
She gets in behind me and I turn to her
I instinctively hold onto her and I grip her as I sob uncontrollably.
She rubs my back as I let another painful sob tear through my small broken down body.
She lets me cry myself to sleep in her arms