Finding Her

Home

I wake up in the morning and I eat a protein bar.
I hug Jane so thight and I immediately kiss her.
We kiss each other for what seems like ages before we get into the car.
She has her hand on the back of my neck as we kiss.
"I'm so glad to go home baby"
I tell her.
"I'm so happy baby"
She kisses me again before she drives off.
I remeber myself as a kid.
My dad driving me around to smoke with my friends but he didn't know that until one of my friends ratted to him.
He cornered that friend after school and she told him everything.
About the smoking.
The drugs
The piercings
The sex that we had together.
He made me never touch her or see her again.
I feel out of touch with reality as we pull up in the driveway.
She helps me out and I stumble.
"It's okay baby"
I nod.
I wait for Jane to unlock the door and I scratch my skin.
She opens it and I walk inside.
I fiddle with my hands not knowing what to do,
Everything is the same except that stupid fucking carpet so I fix it again.
Jane watches as I go into every room just to check if everything is the same.
"How are you feeling baby?"
She questions once I sit down.
"Fine"
I shrug as I turn on the tv.
She stares at me blankly confused as to why I gave a dry response.
She looks as I scratch at my skin again.
She takes my Ah d into hers.
"Baby you can't do that"
"I have- an itch!"
She pulls up my sleeve and it's where the fresh cuts are.
"I thought you were clean baby...you shouldn't be out if you're doing it again!"
"It was one time"
I sigh as she traces the scars on my arms
"I wish I could've stopped you from starting it baby"
"Nobody could..."
I remember my father finding out so I shiver.
She takes me into her arms as I begin to cry.
"Sh sh it's okay. I've got you"
She makes us lunch and I smile lightly.
"Thank you"
"No problem. Eat up while it's still hot baby"
She smiles as she starts to eat hers
I eat mine but I don't eat all of it.
"Good job baby"
"Thanks"
I respond.
I lie down on the couch as Jane makes a few calls to work.
She files paperwork on her laptop so that she can take a break.
I sigh as I try to get comfortable  , I can't so I go to bed early.