Everything Has Changed

Love

We entered my apartment just gone six and everything felt numb.

I had stopped crying 15 minutes ago but I was so tired.

My hands were cold, and my hair was sticking to my face from the condensation in the change in temperature.

As soon as Lizzie closed the door I fell to my knees on the floor and tears started to pool under my eyes again.

"Y/N, baby what can I do," I heard Lizzie say, her voice was muffled like she was speaking underwater.

She sat down next to me and pulled my head into her chest and just held me while I cried. She placed her hand on my head and stroked my hair. My tears wetting her t-shirt.

"Baby, I don't presume to know what you're feeling but I would like to know. Should you wish to tell me," she whispered.

"I- I don't know," I said sitting up to look at her, "I'm just so tired. It's like this wave washing over me again and again. It knocks me down and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again and I- it's just going to drown me," I said between sobs, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"It won't drown you," she whispered, placing her hand on my knee.

"How do you know," I replied after thinking for a second.

"Well, it can't all be sorrow, can it?" She said rubbing circles on my leg, "look- I've never experienced what you're feeling because we have led different lives but the feeling of losing someone you love means everything else is so very real. It's going to hurt. I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to really fucking hurt but what is grief if not love persevering?" She said as I lifted my head up and look at her soft smile.

I nodded and took a deep breath, "she um- she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about five years ago but- fuck- I hadn't seen her in so long, I guess- it's just getting worse," I sniffled.

"It's going to be okay," she said pulling me in for another hug, "come on, let's get you in bed. I'll make dinner and bring it to you," she said kissing the top of my head.

I nodded and stood up, mopping back to my bedroom where I quickly changed into a jumper and laid down. Just staring at the wall. No thoughts, no more tears, just utter emptiness.

Elizabeth's POV

I could hear Y/N's sniffles as she walked towards her bedroom, her head to the floor and her feet dragging her along. I knew her well enough to know she wasn't going to want to eat but after my conversation with Scarlet, I had to at least try.

I pulled out some vegetables from her fridge and began to cut them until I felt arms wrap around my waist.

"Can you come lay with me please," she whispered, leaning her head on my shoulder.

I nodded my head before leaning it against hers, "can I finish dinner first?"

She stayed silent and then whispered, "can we just order something."

I hummed in response and turned around to hug her, standing on my tip toes so I could put my arms around her neck.

"Go back to bed, I'll bring a DVD and see you in a minute," I said, pulling away to give her a quick kiss.

She nodded her head and grabbed a bag of crips from the cupboard before walking back down the corridor to her room. I put the vegetables back in the fridge and the chopping board in the sink and then looked through her DVD collection and saw The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley. I laughed slightly and brought it to her room where she was laying in the foetal position, not on her phone, not crying. Just lying there motionless.