Everything Has Changed

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Elizabeth's POV

"So ... everything's going okay then?" Sarah asked.

It was very warm today and even without the extra pressure of another person living inside me, I probably would've been sweating anyway. My legs were crossed as I sat on the comfy sofa by the window with a cup of tea in my arms, warming up my fingers.

I nodded, "yeah, I- I feel good, that baby is healthy, and we find out the gender in about a week so that's exciting. Y/N and I are doing really well too," I smiled.

"Good, I'm really happy to hear that Elizabeth. See ... I told you it was going to get better," she smiled.

I nodded, taking a sip of my drink, "it just feels like ... ugh I don't know," I said, placing the mug down on the table.

"Tell me what you're feeling, even if it doesn't make sense in your head," she said, her clipboard poised.

"It just feels like something bad is going to happen because everything is going so well," I said honestly.

Sarah nodded for me to continue.

"Okay umm I just- I don't know, I'm a bit anxious that it's all going to go downhill from here and I don't know how I'm going to cope with that, a relationship, and a baby. I already feel overwhelmed and it's not even happening yet," I sighed.

"Okay take a breath and we'll break this down," she said, placing the clipboard on the table.

I took a deep breath in and out and looked down at my hands, playing with the rings in my fingers the way Y/N does when she's nervous.

"Ready?" Sarah asked.

I nodded.

"Are you taking your medication?"

I nodded again.

"Has it been helping with these anxious feelings?"

"Yeah, but the only anxious feelings I have at the moment are about being anxious and then I get more anxious and then I end up like this," I said with a slight chuckle.

"What would you say if I suggested increasing it," she said, testing the waters.

I exhaled shakily, "I don't know, I didn't want to be on it in the first place, but it does help."

"Why don't we test it for 7 days and then if nothing changes then we drop it back to your normal dose," she suggested.

I nodded, "yeah, okay we can try that."

She smiled at the fact I agreed and started writing me a prescription. I picked my head up and looked out the window at the birds that were flying by. In the distance, I could see the Shard and a few other big buildings in London.

"Elizabeth? Where did you go," she asked.

I shook my head and took the prescription from her hand, "I was just looking around; this office has a really nice view," I pointed out.

She nodded with a smile, "that's why I chose it. Your time is nearly up so when did you want to come back?"

"Let's go for after my next ultrasound. That is on the 7th of July so maybe the 9th or 10th?" I asked.

She nodded, "I'll be in contact," she said with a smile, standing up to shake my hand.

The drive back home seemed longer than usual, and it wasn't until I pulled into the driveway that I realised there was no music playing, that I had driven for 20 minutes in utter silence with my thoughts. I turned off the car, took a deep breath and grabbed my bag before opening the front door. I hung up my bag and put my keys in the dish Y/N made in our pottery class that she got me for my birthday and walked into the kitchen hoping to see my girlfriend eating lunch. What I was met with instead was her lips on Florence's.