If Only [COMPLETED]

Chapter LVII

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"Why didn't you try fighting for her?"

"I'm scared." I replied.

"Scared of what? Of people's judgement? Of those negative feedbacks they will throw at you? Gosh Becky stop being scared."

"It's not just that Richie! I'm scared about this! About this feelings! I'm scared of the people's feedback and also I am scared of what our parents will say."

"But you are never scared to lose her?" He asked. Am I?

"I don't wanna lose anybody. Especially if it's Freen."

"Then don't be a coward and do something about your feelings. It's not your fault that you fell out of love with Non and fall for someone new. It's not your fault that Freen gaved you much more comfort than Non did. It's not your choice to fall for someone new Becky." He started. "The very first question you need to ask yourself is why do we fell out of love? Why do we lose love? Why do spark expire? And why do we fall inlove with someone else? You should be able to answer this Bec. Why do we fall inlove with someone else? This is a question most people don't have an answer for, as love is one of the strongest and deepest emotions that our mind and heart could have no control over. "

Tossing around my bed. My mind is so preoccupied about what Richie told me earlier. It keeps repeating and repeating like it was a broken record on the play the keeps playing over and over again. I can't sleep and my body seems to betray me since Dreamland never visited me yet.

Oh God please let me sleep!

I groaned as I covered my ears with a pillow so I could sleep but to no avail. I am still widely awake. My eyes are still open wide observing about the small crackles around, the light sound of the vehicles below that passes on the side of the roads and the skies on the starry night. Everything is so peaceful and at ease but why am I so bothered with something I don't even know what. I sat up and put on my coat and my lose pants as I slowly get off the bed making my way downstairs when my phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?" I ask without minding who the caller is.

"Bec." It was Irin.

"Hey Rin? What's up?" I asked as I slowly walked off the stairs towards the living room.

"Nothing, I just wanna check in you... Are you alright?"

"Yes I am Rin, don't worry." I replied. This is what I like about Irin, she always know when to have my back. And she always never fail to amaze me how genuinely she cares for me.

"Okay, tell me if something's not okay, Okay?"

"Okay Rin." I replied. Then Irin ended the call so I proceeded to take the keys of my scooter before walking away. I need to find something to clear my mind and I guess Richie is already asleep since he was no longer in the living room and the tv is already off. I drove my scooter all the way to the silent streets trying to stroll for something I can eat so I can sleep when I pass through 7/11 so I did hesitate to drop by.

"Hi ma'am good evening, Samantha at your service what can I do for you?" The saleslady ask as she smiled from ear to ear so I didn't hesitate to give her smile back.

"Good evening. I just wanna have a look on what you have here." I replied.

"Go ahead ma'am." I left the saleslady on the counter as I directly went to the ice cream area to buy some ice cream to clear my mind. Ice cream is my favorite and it somehow help me to relax my mind.