If Only [COMPLETED]

Chapter LXIX

The time quickly wash through. I am already here at Rebecca's house for her last session before the exam.

She was reviewing the notes I gaved her while I am sitting on the floor because I felt much more comfortable with it, while her on the other hand sat on the couch.

"Freen, do I really need to review this again? I already know about this." She whined.

It's the fifth time she whined about her already knowing about the notes I have asked her to review.

"Of course Rebecca. It's your final exam. Your anchor aboard so you need to study and go over it again."

"But i'm tired."

"Rebecca."

"Can I rest?"

"You will if you already finished that."

"But i'm tired, five minutes..."

"Rebecca it's like the third time you ask for a break. That's not a good study habits."

"Arghh!"

She groaned and fix her gaze on the notes.

The truth is I already know she already knows about this topic but I don't want to be too complacent with it. We shouldn't be because final exam means it is much more harder than the first two exams and I don't want Rebecca to fail again.

I looked at her as she puckered her lips forward while flipping each pages she is reading. She looks so cute, her nose is slightly scrunched and her forehead is creased.

Shaking my thoughts from her adorable cuteness. I tuck some strands of her hair behind her ear as it cover her face.

Then her eyes meet mine making me feel butterflies in my stomach.

"Stop it."

"What?"

"Stop staring at me."

"I'm not."

"Liar!"

"I'm really not."

"Whatever."

Rebecca continued reading each topics while I was left there just sitting in the couch observing her every movement.

I watch her again,  she was so much like an angel fallen off from heaven. Her beauty is ethereal and is way out of reach for every one. She just surpass everyone with her looks. So beautiful without even trying to be one.

Then I looked back at the memories we had. The painful ones, the struggles and the complications we have been through to lay low like this.  If we were both naive and eager for label then maybe we are not in this state right now. Maybe we are just two strangers who have memories together if we directly jump into something we aren't even sure of.

Loving Rebecca is not as easy as it sounds. Yes it is easy when it is stated in your lips. But it is never easy when you are already in that stage. Rebecca is the least person I ever imagine myself to be with. And now here I am, loving Rebecca in my own way. Without rushing things out, without trying to force things that we should abide with.

I smiled bitterly as I reminisce each of the struggles we have and shrugged my shoulders. To love someone is to be willing to sacrifice all of your pieces just to fill in those parts of your person. Being inlove means giving yourself fully no matter how less you have in yourself. But love don't work that way. It is nice if it is give and take, but sometimes love is give and give. Until you lose yourself along that path you are tracing your feet with. Being inlove means falling over and over and bleeding on the fall but learning how to handle these cuts and the scars you have to make the pain the best thing you experience in your life.