If Only [COMPLETED]

Chapter XLVI

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Freen was bewildered. She didn't know what to say or how to react about Seng's question

"I know it is hard Freen. But please just let me love you again. You don't have to love me back, all i'm asking for is you letting me love you from afar on my own way... Please?"

Freen don't know what to say. It's not a novelty anymore to talk about something like this but if is unusual to be asked something that concerns this. She is not a novice in this but she feel so helpless on handling this one. She knows she cannot say yes to Seng and grant his wish because he will end up hurt in the end.

She cannot love him again. Not in the second time around.

"Don't do this Seng." Freen replied bashfully. "I can't love you back. You'll get hurt in the end for hoping unto something I cannot give you."

"It's okay Freen. As long as you let me love you then I can take it. As long as it's you."

"Seng please... Don't."

"I am already in a rage regretting not risking for you and I won't let that happen again. I won't let myself slipped away the chances of having you again. I don't care if it hurts me in the end but as long as I know I tried winning you over then it doesn't matter. Atleast I tried." He explained.

Seng knows he will get hurt in the end because he knows Freen already has someone in her heart but he is persistent enough to win the girl.

He don't want to miss the chances again.

"I'm inlove with someone else Seng. "

"I know."

"It's gonna be unfair to you."

"It's okay."

"No Seng! I'm sorry but you need to let go. You can't gain something from me. Not again."

"I know Freen. Just please let me love you a little bit more. That's all that i'm asking you."

Freen sigh. She cannot win over this argument because she knows how stubborn Seng is.

"Seng i'm warning you. I can't love you back."

" I know. But I will love you no matter how much you push me away. I love you and I won't be afraid to shout it to the whole world Freen."

"Including the person you love." He sudden paused. " I know that person already won your heart but I won't promised not to steal you away. Never again. I'll do whatever it takes to have you back, even if it means i'm gonna ruin someone else's happiness."

Freen was left in rage. She don't know what to say. She was puzzled by how Seng deliver his emotions that she find it hard to find the ight words to say.

All she ever wanna do is enjoy being herself from the heartbreak she felt. Listen to the chirping ot the birds, watch as the sun sets and rise each days, watch the ocean waves hitting the seashore in a strong blow and the serendipity of the nature featuring her skin. That's all that she wish to do before, enjoy herself from something smaller that makes her happy. She doesn't need anyone to make her happy because she can be that for herself.

But now everything is complicated, everything is a mess.

She knows she can't give Seng what he had gived her. She cannot love him the second time around now that she's inlove with somebody else.

When she look at Seng, all she remembers is the Caucasian features, pointed nose, thick eyebrows, wavy eyelashes and that cute little dimples surrounding her face. Everything her mind flash conveyed Rebecca's image. It was all Rebecca. All she could ever think about everytime she's with Seng is the other girl's seraphic face, the serenity of her beauty as if she's an angel sent from above. The way her voice can soothe all the mood swings of the other girl, the way she annoy and then console her in the next second. Rebecca was the only one whom Freen felt everything she never experience with Seng. And that's what makes Seng a little lesser of Rebecca.

"I'm not stressing you about it Freen. Just let me be." Seng whispered.

They we're both too preoccupied that they didn't notice their orders have already arrived.

"Seng love is not as easy as munching your food then spitting it out once it burnt your tongue. It's not as easy as changing your clothes when the other one is stained. It's not as easy as putting some make up where you can conceal all those imperfections of your face and make you more beautiful. Love is not as easy as that Seng. Love is a broad type of affection where you cannot defy all the butterflies you felt in your stomach when your with someone special. It's a vague word that you can't just randomly use as a joke." Freen started. " When you love, it includes the sacrifices, the pain, the hardships and all those ungrateful moments that will engrave in your memories but forever will leave a lesson to you. Love is something only the heart can explain. Love is not something where you can get a first aid kit once you cut yourself with it."

"It is not scot-free experience. Love isn't all about fairy tales and happy endings Seng. We have different endings and it's up to us on how we end it, it's for us to write each chapter. It's us, not there's so other people don't have a say on what might occur in between us. Love is something we should be cautious with, we cannot just scowl over it when we feel betrayed inlove. It's not as easy as that. It's a strong word Seng, and I cannot just let you love me again when I am already inlove with someone else. She paused. " Love cannot accommodate three people at the same time... I only have one heart that only beats for one person. And it's not you."

"If you really do wanna love me again Seng? Are you ready to see my eyes scintillate when I saw the person I love. Are you ready to eat up all your emotions when you see me much more happier with someone else? Will you be able to endure the scathing of your heart seeing me being happy but your not the reason of that happiness? Are you ready to break your heart over someone who is mending their own but with someone else not you? Are you ready for all of that?"

Seng didn't know what to say. He never think of it. He was so focus on winning Freen over without thinking about his own feelings.

Am I ready? Can I take seeing Freen like that with someone else? Am I gonna be happy if she's happy?

Seng ask at the back of his mind but he got no answers for that yet.

The truth is he doesn't know.

"I'm not selfish Seng. And i'm not gonna do the same thing you did to me because that will pull me down into your level. So please think about it before jumping into this."

" I don't care if my heart will bleed over and over again... I will also choose you over and over again amidst the pain." He started.

"I want you back Freen. And no one can stop me from wishing so... Not even you."

:Hey guys, goodness that was a straight hour of me staring at my phone. How are you doing right there? You all good? I'm sorry for not updating frequently, I just have a lot of personal works to do but there. I already wrote two chapters. I hope you all enjoy and tell me what you think about the chapters. Goodnight and don't forget to take care of yourselves.

:⁠-Petalpage