If Only [COMPLETED]

Chapter LXX

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"How are you?"

That's the first thing Seng asked me the moment we both settled down on the table he reserved.

Yes, I went out with Seng. Not because I wanted to have something with him but to clarify things and clear it out so that no one will be hurt when each of us cannot reciprocate their feelings.

"I'm good Seng, and you?" I asked back.

He smiled slyly for a minute then fix his gestures towards me again. He looked at me intently making me uncomfortable.

"I'm good as well Freen." He replied.

I heave a deep sigh before composing myself possessing a ferocious aura to limit his stand in between the two of us.  Yes Seng and I are pass the level of enemies but I cannot fathom the lac of fervor towards him. I cannot be comfortable when it's just the two of us out in something like this.

"So, what's the purpose of us meeting here Seng?" I asked.

"The truth is I wanna tell you something."

Then my heart skips a bit. I don't know why but everytime someone say they have to tell me something just gives me a negative vibe. Like something ungrateful is about to happen.

"Hey, don't tense up. It's nothing bad okay?" Seng assured so I nodded in response." The truth is i'm planning to go back to LA Freen."

"What?" I asked shocked. He is an exchange student from LA and not finishing the time given is an offense to his degree.  "Why? I mean, it's hard to just suddenly go back there when you have to finish your studies here."

"I'm not leaving too soon. Maybe i'll just finish some year here then fly back to US."

"Why so sudden though?" I asked and he looked down on his lap before looking away.

"The only reason I came back here Freen is you." Then he raise his head to meet my eyes.

"H-huh?"

"It's always been you Freen." He added. " I am not supposed to be the exchange student for Thailand. I am supposed to be going Europe when I heard that my bestfriend will be sent to Thailand. He asked me where I am offered to and I told him i'm going Europe and he beg me to switch because he doesn't want to be in Thailand and don't want to learn a new language. He knew I was from Thailand so he asked me to switch, I was hesitant to take it at first but when I know the school he is going is where you are studying  I didn't second guess so I directly grab the chance to have to see you again. My bestfriend and I switch, he wanted to go to Europe while I was the one being offered to go there, I wanted to go to Europe as well but Thailand is such a charlatan to decline the offer. Thailand is the charlatan that make me take the opportunity to go back. Cause there is YOU. To go back to YOU."

Silence.

That is the right word to describe the vibe wrapping the atmosphere. I already know about Seng's reason starting from the moment we broke up but I didn't expect he would came such lines just to see me again.

"I came back wishing that when I clear my name out, tell you what really happens and apologize everything will fall back into place. The way we paint it to be. " He let out an exasperated sigh before gulping. " But I was a little bit too late Freen. I came back when you don't need me anymore. I came back when I am just a mere memory and not part of the script anymore. I have the thoughts that I will come back but it was too late. I saw how happy you are already, living your life to the fullest, being your old self again, the sides that I never got to see because I tried concealing all your inner child just to make you act as a grown up to avoid embarrassing me in front of everyone. But seeing you being who you are make me regret why I tried keeping that away. I never got to see you behave like that with me. And I regretted it, because being yourself is the thing that makes you the happiest. And I conceal it to make everyone happy while you hide yourself in the shadows just to fill in my happiness."