If Only [COMPLETED]

Chapter LXXVII

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"How's Non auntie Aom?" Rebecca asked as soon as she came back from her residence.

"He's doing better Becky. But still, we never know when he will recover yet." Non's mother sigh.

"I hope he will be okay soon auntie. "

"Becky."

"Hmm?"

"What happened?"

Rebecca looked at the aged woman confused by the question.

"I was never there when Non did that auntie."

"That's not what i'm asking for Becky."

"A-ahm... What do you mean auntie?"

"What happened? Why did you both broke up? Non was so broken Becky. He was lost and devastated when you we're gone. What went wrong? The last time I check you we're both so happy and contented with each other... You we're both so happy, you were always there for Non. Why did everything come to this?"

"That's it auntie.  You said it yourself, I am always there for Non, everytime. He can always run to me and come to me and I would always be there for him. But love cannot work when only one person tries to make it work. I am always there for Non but he's nowhere to be found when I am the one sinking. I can't see him in between. Yes it's true, I was happy with him. Used to love his everything but things change and makes me slowly detached myself. Sometimes things are like paints, we tried to make it perfect and beautiful but once it's not taken care of it will tarnish and it's bloom will slowly fade away. "

Rebecca heave a sigh. She also didn't expect for things to turn out this way. All she could see before was her future with Non, but right now everything about them is blurry.

"Non knows how much I loved him auntie. How much I gaved him my all, how much I sacrificed for him. But sometimes I also need something in return, the same treatment I gaved, the same love I shared and most times he lack something I deserved and he's not even aware of it. He's not aware of the things he should have and should have not. I tried finding the same comfort in him, I tried finding the same home I felt but his absence is not helping and there's one person whom I shouldn't have fall for but she's the person I seek shelter that Non never gaved.  I felt unwanted and ignored. He was there but most times he isn't.

"Why didn't you try to talk it out with him?"

"Talk is the least of what he wanted auntie.  He was always away and I needed him the most through up and downs. Then there's someone who have never did anything special but made my heart melt, like it's the most perfect feeling I ever felt before. And everything seems to fall into place when she's around.  I know it's a mistake but I cannot avoid but to compare Non to her sometimes. All the  things she do seem so perfect and is the standards I needed. " Rebecca paused. " Love is not all about updating and always sticking together, instead it's just the small things that make them realize you are there for them. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of love for a few seeds to burst into an array of colors. Like a flower.  A flower must learn to weather the rain in order to grow in the sun. But how can I grow in the sun when his rays are not making me grow? How could I learn to weather the rain when he's not the rain himself?"

"I would never regret becoming Non's girlfriend because he is perfect. He is humble and kind but sometimes he is overshadowed by the absence and different priorities he needed to do and sometimes I am always on the edge of the list. "

"I don't know what to do with him anymore Becky."

"The break up was a mutual decision auntie. And I may sound selfish but I am happy now. I also want Non to be happy too, he deserves all the happiness in the world. I don't want to be selfish and just be happy myself. I want him to find the same happiness I found. It's just that things change and we are not the same us anymore." Rebecca looked at Non's mom and smiled bitterly.

" If the sweetness of a rose is overshadowed by the pain and ignorance, it can weld if not handled with care.  And in between the thin lines I found someone who takes care of me like i'm the most precious gem."

It's true. Becky never felt so sure and assured about her own feelings until Freen. Freen was that one person who made her heart skip every moving seconds without even trying to do something in return. She was the Tylenol Rebecca likes to take even if there are a lot of medicines for love cures.

"You have to nurture a flower for it to show you its petals. Like love, you have to give and take to make it bloom. Love cannot work when the other party is holding back. But right now i'm at my happiest auntie. I like to say that I am well taken care of, not taken for granted, not ignored and not put on the last page. And that being said is making me the most precious girl in the entire universe."

" Can you take him back? He need you Becky." His mom replied.

Yeah. Non needs me but what can I do? How can I do that when I also needed someone else?

Rebecca expected the question but she somehow feel nervous a little but she kick it aside.

"I'm sorry to say this auntie but no I can't take him back.  I would never trade the best of what Freen gives me to the best of the world can offer. She's everything I needed. And I would never asked for anything else. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. And if I will be laid with a million tulips I would always run and choose her over and over again. No matter how much it takes. I love her so much. And i'm sorry to say this but I love her more than I loved anyone else."

Rebecca paused.

"You might think of me as stupid or crazy. You have the right to think that love is something less broader than what I felt. They say love can drag you down but for me  a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. A good love is the one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!"

"This love might caused me a lot of injuries, but I would never lose the chance to risk.  As long as it is Freen."

:Guys, short update for today. I hope your all doing okay out there? Don't forget to take care of yourselves okay? And about that gc I am talking about, I still didn't create one since I don't know who to add. But anyway, goodnight and smile a lot ka. Love you.

:⁠-Petalpage