𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 | 𝐌.𝐑.

79 | Golden

EVELYN NOTT

warning ;  panic/anxiety attack

" i once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden, goldennn "

With Mattheo, everything was so different. Different than anything I've ever felt before.

I'll never know why but I loved the feeling of danger, and that was written all over Mattheo.

But then it was different, I've never seen him so protective over a person...

"Hey," A voice snaps me out of my thoughts, a rather familiar voice at that.

"Cedric, hi." I clear my throat.

I haven't talked to him since I failed to ask him to Draco's party.

"I know we haven't talked in awhile. But I think I need to say this, I really do."

I nod. "Alright then. Do you want to go somewhere more private?" I question, he did stop me to speak in the middle of the corridors.

"No... I just want to say it now," He stops me from moving. I notice that his hair was a bit longer and messier.

Cedric reminds me of a golden retriever, loyal, bright smile, sweet, caring.

Mattheo was the opposite. I picture him as a black lab or a pit bull. Instead of a bright smile, he smirks. He's possessive, incredibly smart, dangerous...

"I think deep down I'll always have feelings for you Ev, I really do. I don't know if you'll ever feel the same way. I respect you, but I'll never understand why you chose him over me."

"Cedric, why did you have to bring Mattheo into this?" I scoff, shaking my head.

"I'm wondering the same question." I feel a hand snake around my waist, my back against Mattheo's front.

"I wasn't talking to you mate." Cedric responds dryly, his eyes dropping to where Mattheo's hand was.

"Why are you giving my girlfriend relationship advice when you clearly fucking failed at one yourself?" Mattheo chuckled.

"Mattheo don't say that—"

"Evelyn you don't have to defend me. You clearly have a type. Lorenzo was an asshole and you've moved onto the biggest asshole alive. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd hit yo—" Cedric cuts me off, only to be interrupted again.

Mattheo removes his hand from my waist, stepping in front of me and towering over Cedric, his hand coming intact with his throat.

"Why don't you fuck off? How dare you fucking accuse me of ever putting my hands on her? I'd never hurt her, but I'd fucking kill you Diggory."

"Mattheo. Please don't hurt him, just let him go." I plead, his expression didn't change.

"Why should I? After all he's right, I hurt people. Might as well live up to it." He laughed, Cedric wheezing at his oxygen being cut off.

"Mattheo please. You don't hurt people— you're not like that, not anymore. Just let him go." My hand touching his tense arm.

He snaps over at me, letting Cedric go to take his anger out on me, "How would you fucking know? I told you to not- to not try and change me!"

Cedric was long gone, Mattheo had finally scared him away, and I was afraid it was for good.

"Calm down." I reach for his hand, immediately he pulls away, raising his hand towards me, I let out a small gasp as I step back, only to find out he was just running his hand through his hair.

He chuckles but his voice sounds hurt, "You think I'd fucking hurt you?"

"No..."

"You backed away from me! You thought I was going to hurt you. I wouldn't ever fucking hurt you Evelyn— why would- why?" His breathing hitches, I can see his chest heave.

"Because Mattheo you have hurt me. But I've forgiven you, you don't have to worry now."

His hands tremble, "You thought I was going to hurt you. Diggory was fucking right I've hurt you."

"No, Mattheo. You're freaking out."

"You don't even feel safe with me. I'm ruining you, your life. I hurt you, I—" He leans on the wall, breathing rapidly.

"I can't breathe." He tells me and I immediately react by pulling him closer to me.

"Breathe Mattheo. It's okay I promise. You're just having a panic attack baby, just breathe." I embrace him in a hug, my arms wrapping around his neck while my hands hold the back of his head.

I could feel his thumping heart beat against my chest. "I don't deserve you, I'm bad for you. I hurt—"

"Stop saying those things. I'm still here, I'm still yours and I still love you. Okay?" I interrupt him, holding him tighter.

"How do you love me?" He asks, his voice weak, "I'm not a good person Evelyn."

I've never seen him so vulnerable. "I love you Mattheo because I know you aren't a bad person. You were just a kid when everything happened to you. None of it was your fault, and I need you to know that, you don't have to blame yourself for everything, and you don't have to push me away. I promise you that you can open up to me about anything and I'll never judge you. I'll always love and care for you."

He holds onto me tighter, "I need you."

I feel his hot breath against my neck, his head leaning down onto my shoulder.

"You already have me, I'm not going anywhere, okay? Focus on breathing." I tell him, one of my hands moving down to rub his back.

I'm not saying what he did to Cedric was right. Mattheo overreacted, letting the feelings he doesn't think he has get the best of him.

He's a troubled, broken soul. He's seen terrible things at such a young age, it's amazing how he is now and how he's not exactly like his Father.

"Please don't try to change me." He whispers. I was going to agree, even though, he didn't know that I thought he was slowly changing on his own, becoming the person that I knew he could be from the beginning.

"I don't want to change you Mattheo. I love you the way you are."

//

Mattheo slayed

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