The Bunker was eerily quiet as you sit alone in the library, your fingers absently tracing the edge of an old, tattered book. The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows, casting long shadows across the room, but it did little to warm the cold knot tightening in your chest. You are used to the weight of the hunt, the pressure of protecting your family, but tonight, it wasn't the job that plagued your mind—it was the one person you couldn't afford to lose.
Castiel.
He was in the next room, talking to Sam, but you couldn't seem to shake the anxiety gnawing at your insides. It was a quiet, insidious kind of fear, the kind that didn't scream or shout, but slowly crept into your thoughts until it was the only thing you could think about.
It was irrational, you knew. You two had faced demons, angels, even God together. Castiel was resilient, he was strong—stronger than most. But the thought of losing him, the one constant in your life outside of your family, the one being who had stood beside you through the darkest of days... that thought paralyzed you.
You tried to breathe through it. Tried to focus on something, anything else. But every scenario you ran through in your mind ended the same way: Castiel gone. Gone forever. Your heart would never be the same.
A soft creak of the door brought you back to reality, and you looked up to see Castiel standing there, his trench coat sweeping the floor as he stepped into the library. His piercing blue eyes softened when they met yours, though he immediately noticed the worry clouding your gaze.
"Y/N?" he asked, his voice low and concerned. "Is everything alright?"
Your heart skipped a beat. He always noticed when something was off.
"I—" your voice cracked before you could finish, and you quickly cleared your throat, trying to sound casual. "I'm fine. Just... lost in thought."
Castiel didn't buy it for a second. He took a few steps toward you, the gentle rustle of his coat almost comforting, and stopped in front of you. There was a moment of silence, a space between the two of you that felt a little too large, too thick with unsaid things.
You swallowed hard, looking down at your hands. You weren't sure why you felt so vulnerable, so raw. You aren't the kind of person who showed weakness easily, but the fear had gripped you in a way that was impossible to ignore.
"You're not fine," he said softly, his voice laced with understanding. "What's going on?"
You hesitated, the words like stones lodged in your throat. You could feel the lump forming there, could feel the sharp sting of tears threatening to spill over. You aren't sure if you could even say it out loud. It was silly, wasn't it? To be afraid of something you couldn't control?
But Castiel's quiet presence, his calm assurance, made you feel like you could finally let the fear slip into words.
"I'm scared," you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. "I'm scared of losing you, Cas. I don't know what I'd do if—if something happened to you."
There it was. The raw truth. The terrifying, heart-shattering reality you tried to avoid thinking about. The fear you had buried deep inside, because admitting it meant acknowledging just how much you needed him.
Castiel's expression softened, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something—vulnerability, maybe?—pass through his usually stoic gaze.
"Y/N..." He knelt down in front of you, his hand reaching out to gently touch yours. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you."
Your breath hitched in your throat as you stared at him, his sincerity palpable. His touch was a grounding force, and for a moment, it almost felt like you could believe him. But the fear—your fear—it didn't dissipate so easily.
"You don't know that," you said, her voice trembling. "I've lost so many people. I can't—"
"You won't lose me," he interrupted, his voice firm now, though his eyes held a tenderness you hadn't expected. "I promise you, Y/N, I will do everything I can to stay by your side. I'm not like the others. I'm not going anywhere."
You shook your head, the weight of the words feeling both like a comfort and a burden. "But you're not human, Cas. You're—"
"And that's exactly why I can protect you," he said, his voice a little more urgent now, his hand tightening around yours. "I am your guardian angel." Cas reminded.
You felt the tears you had been holding back finally slip down your cheeks, and you didn't bother wiping them away. The warmth of his hand in yours, the conviction in his eyes—it all melted some of the walls you'd built around your heart.
"I just... I don't know how I'd go on without you, Cas," you whispered, your voice breaking.
For a moment, Castiel didn't speak. He just watched you, and in that silence, you realized how deeply you had allowed yourself to depend on him. He wasn't just the angel who had come to your rescue time and time again; he had become your anchor, your safe place in a world that often felt too dangerous, too uncertain.
Then, finally, he spoke, his voice low and steady, like a promise. "You don't have to. You don't have to fear losing me, Y/N. Not because I won't do everything in my power to stay, but because... I love you. And as long as I am here, I will always protect you."
The words hung in the air, thick with something both new and familiar. Your chest tightened as you processed them, a warmth spreading through you despite the lingering fear.
"Cas..." you whispered his name, your heart swelling with emotions you weren't sure how to express.
Castiel's hand, still holding yours, tightened just slightly, and in that simple gesture, you realized something. You aren't alone in your fear. He felt it, too.
For the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe—just maybe—you wouldn't lose him. Not today. Not ever.
And that was enough.
