Ask BAM ~A wattpad advice column~

Life Problem 19

Dear BAM, I'm not really good at this but I'm gonna dive right in. I'm currently a freshman in highschool. Before this year I went to a private school PreK-8th grade. Last year I made a big decision in choosing to go to a public high school for the first time. I have 2 sets of friends so-to-speak, some that I grew up with in my neighborhood(Two girls) since we all were 2, who all went to public school and then there's my friends from my private school (7 people) . All my friends from the private school live roughly 30 min away from me. They had lived closer to the private school, but anyways end of 8th grade year my friends and I decided to go to public school. Most of them ended up all going to the same high school due to their area code, except me. Originally I was extremely excited, my neighborhood friends told me how great it would be, how awesome it would be to go the same school and how I'd get to meet their friends, etc. Though once I finally 'graduated' 8th grade, which at my school was really big; I started to get some what upset over the idea of not going to the same school anymore. Eventually I began stressing about it, and I ended up getting a really bad anxiety problem I have yet to conquer. End of summer comes around, and I had freshman orientation. That day changed my whole perspective, after being in a school so large for the one the first time and being around what I learned was just the freshman class, scared me to death. My friends ended up ditching me so I was alone and it just made me feel awful. I went home and cried for a long time and it lead to a massive anxiety attack, my mom tried to make things better and told me once school starts that I'd make tons of friends. Now this takes me to where I am now, 7 months later. I still have only just my neighborhood friends, and they get really annoyed at the fact I'm always tagging along and that I have no friends. So I just always end up sitting quietly. I don't think I have ever felt so deeply sad and lonely. I get to see my old friends roughly every two months or so, and I miss them so much. All the people in high school are so different, there just nothing like my friends I'm used to. I've been used to having goofy, sometimes pointless, yet loving conversations that I'd never stop laughing at, but everyone in public school seems to be obsessed with drama, none of them seem to have normal conversations. I think a lot of people think I'm really weird because I'm not surrounded by friends and having a good time 24/7. And it's really not helping that my neighborhood friends aren't like they used to be when we hung out, they always seem to be pointing out things I do that they don't like. I wish I could just maybe still be friends with them but not really associate myself with them anymore, but our parents are super close and then I'd really be all alone. I've been finding myself missing my old friends so much I break down crying at the thought of them, I feel super clingy because they all have adjusted really well in their new schools, all of them having new friends and enjoying themselves. I'm just so distraught and It's hurting me so much on the inside. I don't have anyone to really talk this out with so your my last resort. I'm really hoping for any kind of advice. I'm sorry for this being so long but I tried to make it less confusing. Thank You so much for listening. -imissmyfriends __________________________

Dear imissmyfriends, 

              Well this isn't an abnormal problem to have as you switch schools and such. I've actually struggled with this myself. Honestly the best advice I can give you is to hang on and choose your friends wisely. Because it's high school, a lot of the people there are only going to want to be sucked into drama and to say it gets any easier after high school would be a lie. Friends that you wish to be friends forever with you will eventually get drawn apart and become sociable to other groups. Even though you feel or are alone doesn't mean you have to be or really are. There are plenty of people in this world you can be friends with. It takes courage to expand to different socialites. You might want to try it or not. If you don't then let me give the best advice on that, which is to not worry so much. You will  gain and lose friends in this life time. Some will stick with you forever and others.. well, they will teach you lessons that will carry with you forever. You have a good mind set on the people that you want around you and a good heart as a matter of fact. But, the only light you don't see is that this is only part of your life. If you still need to talk don't be scared to message me. 

Hope this helps.

BAM