Ask BAM ~A wattpad advice column~

Love Problem (38)

I guess this is a love problem but I've got a crush so I don't know if I'd call it love... but here goes.Hey BAM!So there's a guy. I'm a Christian and I met him at my church. He's really nice and he's hilarious. I don't know if he'd be considered the most attractive guy but he's got really soft hands. I'm a big reader and an advanced academic student and he's not, but he's not stupid. He's a lot smarter than some of the boys in my class, that's for sure. Some of my friends say that when I (inadvertently) flirt with him (which I don't mean to do) he flirts back (which he also probably doesn't mean to do). He's not a big reader. He hasn't read my favorite book series, but that's fine, I'm trying to get him to. My problems with this: 1. I have a friend that I've known for a while that was raised in a household where she was told she wasn't allowed to date a black boy. I'm trying to show her that that's not right, but she doesn't want to defy her (racist) father. Racism is kind of ingrained in her, and I don't know if she recognizes that it's wrong. The problem here is that the boy I like is black. Help? 2. I really like him and I want to tell him, but I think I have anxiety and I am too much of a coward. I'm not shy, just scared. How might I go about telling him? Thanks! I'm praying none of my friends see this, or they'll tease for for decades.~ Sleepless in Seattle (for lack of a better nickname lol)P.S. I almost forgot! I'm a year and a half younger then he is. Let's just say I'm 4 and he's 5 (which is not true but privacy is important). He's not allowed to date until he's 6. I don't know what the boundaries for that are, but my parents have the same rule. Well, not quite. I'm not allowed to GO ON dates until I'm 6. I can have a boyfriend before that, but we have to have an adult go with us on dates. Do you think, since in real life we are kinda young (early-middle teens), I should wait? Is the gap between us a problem, since he's physically a year and a half more mature than I am?

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Dear Sleepless in Seattle, 

If you are still in your middle teens I would take the time for your friendship to grow before considering to date someone. From my experience, relationships that are put together at a young age such as your will have a less likely chance of lasting as long as having a good standing long relationship with the person you like. I say to give it that year and don't rush into anything to quick. There isn't a problem with the gap of age but there's always room to grow in maturity. Also, you shouldn't have to validate your feelings with people that may not want to see you with a certain race. Being racist is a choice in my opinion and it take a lot of time and energy for someone to switch the effects of these outcomes such as parents being racist. When you are around that type of environment it's hard to change. As far as you telling him that you like him I would gradually go into it. Like I stated before, wait about a year and see what blooms with your friendship and if you feel like you want to tell him sooner than that's up to you. If you decide to tell him ask him if he likes any one just to get a feel on who he's feeling at the moment. 

I hope this helps ! If you have any questions regarding this advice, don't hesitate to ask! 

BAM