Ask BAM ~A wattpad advice column~

Love Problem (15)

Dear BAM,

I have a love problem, what am i suppose to do if even tho i love my bf i kinda enjoyed being single and being able to check out guys and im actually kinda into a new guy i met?

-jess

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Dear Jess, 

Well when you get into a relationship with someone you should already know you have to leave all that behind. Your not even supposed to feel the way you do. Now you say you enjoyed being single yet your kinda into someone new. Now here's the problems I see with that. 

1. You want to be single and check out guys

2. You already see another potential guy 

Now I'll tell you why these are two problems. 

1. You shouldn't feel the need to be single only to check out guys again and all that. And I'm not saying that's the only reason that you probably want to be single. You probably like the space and the time you got to yourself. Basically the freedom to do what you wish but when you love someone, you shouldn't feel the need to be away from them, to not be with them. Let me tell you a lil secret that isn't so much of a secret; boys check out girls anyway when there in a relationship. Now I'm not saying that all guys are like this but most guys are. You may not notice it, you may not know it, but they do. Now saying that you want to check out other guys is fine but checking them out as in "oh dang hes hot, look at that body" and "oh danggggg I want that for myself" is two different things which I'd like to say is kinda how you decipher with a guys mind. So you can be in a relationship and check out guys but not really check them out, you feel me?

2. You want to be single but then what's the point of that if your only going to fall into someone else lap? You say you love your bf but really you don't if someone else is already sparking your interest. Now that's not only the problem. Lets say you decide to break up with your boyfriend and pursue this guy and this guy is just as into you as you are and then you guys go into a relationship, how long do you think that relationship is going to last until you want to be single again? Do you get where I'm going with this? Being single has to do with Independence. You want to be alone, you don't want to be tied down and if you feel the need to be single you shouldn't want it for the wrong reasons. 

I say if your heart isn't in the relationship then don't stay. Don't make excuses just to leave. And like I tell guys to not waste a girls time, don't waste his either. If you want to be single then be single but eliminate all odds of you going into another relationship so fast. But if you want to be single because you want to pursue this other guy then be as honest to yourself as you should to the person your with and when I say that is that you don't love him the way you think you love him. You probably love him as a friend more than anything else. 

But that's all I have to say and my input on that. I hope this helped or made you gain a little clarity on some things.. 

BAM