Ask BAM ~A wattpad advice column~

Life Problem 21

Dear BAM,I'm kinda nervous writing this Life problem as no one knows exactly how I feel about this stuff. So.. yeah. I'm pretty young (13) and I guess no one my age should be worried about this kinda stuff.First: I am very, VERY self conscious. I never stop thinking about how I look or act and I'm really unsocial as well. I don't eat much at all (I don't really know why) and I haven't eaten a lot for about seven or eight years. Around last year I started becoming seriously self conscious about my body and how thin I am. I'm a dancer, and in dancing you have to wear a tight leotard as uniform, and I hate wearing it in front of anybody, even my dance class who I've known for years. I always stay in the back row for dances but my teacher keeps moving me up. Last week she offered me a solo dance for competitions which is a pretty big deal, but I got really nervous because I don't think I deserve it. I still don't have my splits, which are a big factor in dancing, and I'm scared I'm not good enough so I haven't told anyone except for one friend. So.. I don't know if you can help me with that.So second, I have really big ears, and they stick out straight from my head. I'm really self conscious about them but only one person has ever been kinda mean to me about it (but they have special needs so I know they don't really mean it). A couple of months ago my mom told me that I could get them pinned back if I wanted. I really, really want to because I hate how they look but I'll have to go under anaesthetic for surgery and I'm scared of it so much. I'm meeting this doctor about it tomorrow and I'm pretty scared.Third, I'm kinda losing my friends. My parents keep telling me to widen my friend group, but I can't speak to them because it's so awkward. I don't know how to stay friends with them, and I'm sad because they're such great friends.You might not be able to help me, but thanks anyway for letting me let out my feelings.Sincerely, Angie.

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Dear Angie, 

Well firstly I just want to say that you shouldn't be ashamed of saying how you feel because these are problems no matter what age. I remember when I was your age and I didn't like to eat. I would throw my lunches away, ate pretty much a lot of junk food and sweets, and ignore my stomach when it got hungry. This was really bad because I was always under 100 pounds but I was also going through a lot at home which made me suppress a lot of things inside. I share that with you to let you know your not alone even at your age. Loving yourself isn't easy and takes time to do so. It took me half of my life to love myself and I'm 22 years old. I spent the other half not being able to look in the mirror. I say that to show you nothing is over night. With that I would love for you to follow me on my instagram (If you have one) at the_poet_bam. I post a lot of inspiring and motivating videos on my stories which will help you every day to get to a positive mind about yourself. Consider me your life coach lol But furreal though I think it will help you. If you don't have an instagram, message me I'll give you my number which I can provide more advice that way. Being self conscious can lead us to a lot of set backs in our life and since you are a dancer this could contain a bad effect but let me ask you this, do you want yourself to be the only reason for your greatest successes in life? If not, then don't be. Again, this isn't an over night job but requires you to rewire your thoughts which will rewire your action and how you respond to everything. As for your ears, I think our biggest critic to us is ourselves. I'm always an advocate to loving yourself for you are with every piece of your body, ears included. I say that if you are scared then don't follow through. And you are too young to make that decision now because your body is still growing. The procedure can wait a few years if you are still feeling like you don't like them but let your body grow into a woman first. You may surprise yourself and actually love them later. 

BAM