Ask BAM ~A wattpad advice column~

Girl problem (6)

Dear BAM

I really think I need help. I don't know what to do or how to get help. Self harm is starting to come to me like second nature and thoughts of suicide are always on my mind. I don't know why I feel this way. Right now, life is good for me. But before it was just terrible and I don't know if that's why I feel what I feel. And I always feel like crying. Always. I can never look at a mirror cause I'll just look at my imperfections and not pay attention to anything else. All I see is a person who is chubby (i weigh 112 and im 14) and doesn't have long enough hair. I see a very depressed tragedy in the mirror. And I don't like the feeling. Not one bit. But I don't know how I can get rid of it. It's not like my parents aren't there for me... cause they are. It's just so hard for them to even understand me in the slightest way possible. I'm doing good academically but I feel like I should be doing more. I have a loving boyfriend but he can be a little clingy. But that just means he cares. Right? I have friends. Well only a little bit. Everyone else is solely an acquaintance. I tend to cut people out of my life. I'm a social pariah at times. I just feel frustrated all the time. I take it out on my brother sometimes by yelling at him and then I feel guilty cause it's not his fault. Actually, I feel guilty all the time. I don't know what to do. It's hopeless for me. Do you have any advice?

DesperatelyHopeless

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Dear DesperatelyHopeless, 

There are many reasons that this could be happening to you but you can never really know until you actually go to a doctor and see what their opinion is. Psychologically I have been where you have been and the only way I got through or broke through it is by changing something in your life. But since you seem to not have anything to change from what I could see it's just that you aren't happy with yourself and that needs to be worked on. Instead of looking at your imperfections with hatred, look at them one by one and say that I love you, you are perfect. Eventually over time you will start to see them with more clarity. If you feel like you should be doing more then do more. Nothing really gets done if you sit there and complain. When your boyfriend is a little clingy yes it does means he cares and also he likes being around and also could be attached a lil to you but that's all normal. If you feel like hes' being over bearing though just ask him to take a step back in a way that hes still there but you have some space. Nothing is ever hopeless. Improve yourself and your life and everything will be okay hun. Take it a step at a time, don't rush. And you will be feeling better in no time. 

I hoped this helped you and if you need anything else my message box is always open!

Love BAM