She promised me she will go out, she promised me she will tell everyone about me, she made a lot of promises but it's been two years and i'm still her secret.
Wherever i try to grab her hand in the street she move it and act like nothing happened.
When i try to act all cute with her, she stops me and said i'm being a child.
When i say i love her in public she says she loves me too but as a friend.
She is adorable and lovely but never in front of others, when we are all alone she's all cutesy and annoying, giving me kisses everywhere, but she changes when we are with her fans or on set.
I don't know her anymore.
"Okay we will go to this interview today at Ellen! i'm super excited oh my god!" Alycia squealed, i sighed and rolled my eyes.
"Sure, im happy, hope you have fun there"
"What's the matter now?"
"Are you really asking me this?"
"I'm sorry okay! i'm not ready, i don't really wanna tell them just yet"
"Alycia! it's been two fucking years! everyone thinks you're single when you're not! boys and girls always flirt with you at these parties and i have to deal with it! and you do nothing at all either!"
"Can you just wait? i'm doing all for you, i need you to be patient"
"Patient? haven't i been patient enough for you? two years Alycia, do you even love me?" She looked at her hands and stayed in silence oh great. Okay that's all.
I sighed and tried to hold my tears, it's pretty obvious she doesn't love me or like me anymore, i grabbed my bag and my keys.
"Where are you going?" She asked softly.
"I'll leave, i cant with this anymore Alycia, you don't even reply me, it's important because i'm fucking in love with you and you don't care, i'm done with this, i cant fight go this relationship alone, and less when you don't want to be with me"
"I- i didn't say that y/n please i'm sorry i promise i-"
"No! don't you dare to say that again! don't promise me shit you won't make! i'm tired, admit it and it will hurt less, you don't love me, you don't wanna ve with me and i'm gonna push you to it and i won't fight for this anymore, i give up" I said sobbing a bit, i closed the door behind me and walked out of her apartment, i won't come back.
She doesn't care and i'm getting hurt, i can't deal with it.
They told me i will give up any moment because i won't bear with that for long but the truth is i never saw myself giving up on the love of my life.
But i did.
I did give up.
