i highly recommend you to listen to the 1 by taylor swift while reading
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It's been a month and i thought by now i would be happier. At least smile more, you know? I miss going out and feel like life was worth it but lately I've been feeling like i have nothing to live for and it's stupid because it was just a break up.
"Okay that's it, you have been looking at that coolie for fifteen minutes Y/N, stop thinking about her and move the fuck on" I looked up sighing.
"I'm just contemplating it" I blinked, i always been trying to show that i am in fact okay, but we all know it's not even true.
"I know you, i'm your best friend, i've had to see you go through this for a whole month and this is not you, come on, did you really get that attached?" Brooke touched my hand.
I sighed as my eyes watered. The lump in my throat couldn't be swallowed. My voice was trapped. I licked my lips as a few tears fell down my cheek.
"I loved her..." She sighed and stood up, she sat in the chair next to me and hugged me tightly.
"I'm sorry, i was harsh. I know, i know, but you need to move on, she's doing that too" She shut her eyes and gulped. "I mean, i guess so"
"Have you seen her?" Brooke sighed. "Please Brooke if you have seen her please just—"
"Okay stop! yes i saw her... she was at William's, when i was there, she was with Bria and yes it's moving on, she looked better than the last times i have seen her, you... please just stop looking... she's not coming back" Brooke stood up and cupped my cheeks. "I love you and i hate to see you like this, you need to go back to the old you... before your feelings for her"
"I can't just stop loving her... she... i guess... never mind" I said and just wiped my tears and walked to my room, i was already late for college, i had my first class at 9 and it was 8:45, i need to focus on school now.
I sighed as i walked out of the apartment. Ready for the same routine, the only thing i do lately.
I swallowed hard as i left the building and made my way to the bus stop.
The bus will be there in 10 minutes so was a fact i was gonna be late, it doesn't matter at all now.
I sat as i grabbed my headphones from my bag and connected them to my phone, i pressed shuffle.
I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit
Been saying "yes" instead of "no"
I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though
I hit the ground running each night
I hit the Sunday matinée
You know the greatest films of all time were never made
I felt someone sitting next to me and didn't even pay attention, i was focused in the melody. I hold my tears as much as i can, it would be really embarrassing if a stranger actually see me cry.
"How have you been?" My heart raced as soon as i heard that voice. I looked up and there she was, sitting next to me, with her bag, her cute oversized jeans and a cute pink blouse.
I swallowed. I took off my headphones. "What—"
"I saw you here and was actually taking the other bus but couldn't help but approach you and actually talk to you... it's been a month" She sighed.
I guess you never know, never know
And if you wanted me, you really should've showed
And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow
And it's alright now
"Yes it's been a month... you haven't called since you left" She bit her lip.
"Y/N, i'm sorry, it wasn't nothing about you..."
"I'm done listening Alycia, just the same excuses"
"If you just—"
I cut her off. "No"
But we were something, don't you think so?
Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It would've been you
In my defense, I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it would've been fun
If you would've been the one
"Why don't you wanna listen? see that's the problem" She sighed frustrated. I saw from the corner of my eye the bus.
"I'm done, you made it pretty clear i'm the problem, we never agreed, we never had the same opinions, we never were in sync" I stood up and she grabbed my arm.
"Please do not walk away again, i have so much to say, to explain, i need you to listen to me" Her eyes watered.
"And when will you listen to me?" She stayed quiet. "Right because there was always time for you to brag about your friends plans, your friends things and never for us" I sighed and pulled away. "I always put you first because you were the one, because it was always you"
"It was always about you! I'm all about you!" She said.
"It would have been so sweet that you thought that a month ago" I said and took the bus leaving her there.
I guess that's the first step on moving on.
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I changed the cover 🥺 what do y'all think
also
part II?
