Love Suicide

XXXVII

DECEMBER 3: Thursday

Ganito nalang ba ka-boring ang buhay ko? I mean, wala na bang mas boboring pa?

"Psst!" Napalingon ako kahit 'di ko naman alam kung sino ang sinitsitan ng lalaking nasa katabi ko.

Nakatingin lang siya sa'kin at unti-unting ngumiti. "K-kamusta, Jacq?" Pagtatanong nito sa'kin.

Napangiti nalang ako ng pilit sa pagbati niya. "Ayos lang." Napatingin ulit ako diretso sa unahan at hindi nalang siya pinansin.

Inihiga ko ang aking kalahating katawan sa desk ko pumikit.

Tutal, wala namang interesado sa guro na nasa unahan. Nakakagago, right?

Yung pinaka-worth it na tao, tinatratong useless? Siguro hirap na hirap na siya.

Ang hirap siguro maging teacher.

Huminga ako ng malalim at iniba ang posisyon ng aking ulo. Mula sa pagkakaharap nito sa kaliwa, inilipat ko 'to sa kanan.

Napamulat ako ng mata at napahinga nang malalim nang makita ko si Joshua na nakatingin pa din sa'kin at nakangiti pa din.

"You're acting creepy, Joshua." I whispered.

He looked at his notes all of a sudden and immediately looked at me after, like he's shy or whatever.

"Sorry," he sighed but never remove the creepy smile on his face. "I'm just happy."

"Happy?" I asked.

Napatango siya. "Can we talk later?" He asked.

I knitted my eyebrows. "Oh, okay."

His smile, widened. "Thanks, I'll just say something important, Jacq." He said.

I just smiled at him and act sleeping on my desk.

"Uh, Jacq." Narinig ko na namang tawag sa'kin ni Justin kaya naman napamulat ako ng mata't napatingin sa kaniya.

"Ano?"

"Mr. Rivero and Ms. Nav, if you don't want to listen to my discussion, you two can go out now." Napatingin kami ni Joshua sa harapan at napatahimik din ang mga kaklase ko.

"And to all of you, GAS 11-B. All of you will remember me as a boring teacher but what I'm saying is for your own gain." Huminga siya ng malalim. "I hope you can open your eyes and see the worth of worth it people."

Natahimik ang lahat sa kaniyang sinabi at iniwan kaming walang ingay at walang ibang sinabi. Ilang segundo na ang nakalipas matapos niyang isirado ang pinto, bumalik naman ang ingay ng lahat.

As the usual, I waited for them to leave the classroom peacefully.

Nakapikit akong tumayo't napahinga ng malalim bago ko kapain ang bag ko na nasa-upuan ko.

I swung myself to right while my eyes were still closed.

"Shit." Napamulat ako ng mata ko nang makabangga ako ng isang...

"Take care, Jacq." Mahina nitong sabi.

I realized na ang lapit pala niya sa'kin kaya naman agad akong napa-atras. I cocked my eyebrows when he suddenly chuckle.

"What?" I asked, putting my bag on my back.

"Nothing." He arranged his bag. He put his left hand on his left pocket while his bag is just hanging on his left shoulder. "So, tara?" Pagtatanong niya nagpagulo sa'kin.